tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post4297419015803093113..comments2023-05-26T07:41:53.109-05:00Comments on Afterthoughts On A Whirlwind Journey: If You Give the Devil A RideUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-64034416683082662532007-12-15T14:44:00.000-06:002007-12-15T14:44:00.000-06:00I agree with you fully, MR. I would like to be ma...I agree with you fully, MR. I would like to be married someday and to have a family of my own, but I've decided to leave that up to God. I want that, but I'm not going to frustrate myself and worry myself to death over the prospect of maybe never having that sometime in the future. If it's God's will for me to someday be married and to have kids, then great. If not, then great, because I'll still have God. Not having a wife and kids is not going to be the end of the world for me. I'm tired of worrying about it, so I've decided to try my best just to be happy with where I'm at and to leave that desire with God.<BR/><BR/>I do think, if I ever found a girlfriend, that I would tell her by at least the third date what I struggle with. That would only be fair. And not only that, but honesty really is the best policy. Like with my parents. I haven't seen any results of anykind due to my telling them I'm attracted to other guys other than the fact that I feel like I can just be myself a lot more around them. In other words, I feel like I can be more honest and open with them. It would be the same if I found a girlfriend/wife. I would want her to know me for me. I'd want her to know everything about me and love me for all that I am. So, I would definitely tell her about this. And I'd definitely ONLY marry a woman if I was in love with her. If not, then no way.<BR/><BR/>I like your last sentence, because that's really something I've just realized in my heart. I'd been pursuing a heterosexual orientation more than God the last year or so, and that's done me very little good. That's something about with what I was talking about before dealing with change. I'm going to leave that in God's hands, and on my part, I'm simply going to pursue God more. I want God that way. It doesn't matter so much to me anymore what I'm attracted to. I'm tired of worrying about something that I have no control over. So, I'm not going to worry about it. Instead, I'm going to hope, and I'm going to place all my hope in God, and I'm going to pursue him with all my heart. That's what's most important to me. I just want God. Everything else is secondary. Now, when I say all that, I'm not saying I've decided to give up my fight against homosexuality, just that I'm not going to worry so much about what I'm attracted to anymore. God doesn't condemn me for that. He doesn't ask me to worry about that, but to follow Him, and let him worry with it. So, that's what I'm going to do.<BR/><BR/>I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend leaving you like that. That must have really been hard. I hope God will lead you to a woman who'll love you still despite your struggles.<BR/><BR/>God bless ya.<BR/><BR/>BrandonBrendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248268499428066786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-67014674182266472032007-12-15T00:59:00.000-06:002007-12-15T00:59:00.000-06:00Brandon,Dave,Whatever happens, know that God can g...Brandon,<BR/><BR/>Dave,<BR/><BR/>Whatever happens, know that God can give you all the grace you need to marry a woman and have a happy family. I know men who struggle with SSA and are happily both husbands and fathers.<BR/><BR/>I just can’t remain silent on this subject. I want to tell part of my story here but I have to be careful on this. It involves a girl who would not want her story on the internet, so I will leave out some details. You see, I was once in a relationship with a Christian girl and we were starting to talk about marriage. As soon as she found out about my SSA she ended it immediately. That hit me so hard it took me years to sort everything out and learn from it. What I learned was that friendship alone is not enough to start a marriage. If my love is not deeply heartfelt and passionate enough, I just should not marry.<BR/><BR/>You are both wise not to hide your struggles with SSA from any girl you intend to marry. You need to find one who is understanding and compassionate. They do exist, but not every Christian girl is able to handle this.<BR/><BR/>Remember, above all you are pursuing God, not a heterosexual orientation.MRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16747154844168947527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-77349704462541727792007-12-14T19:08:00.000-06:002007-12-14T19:08:00.000-06:00Cheers Brandon,It is encouraging to hear that. I c...Cheers Brandon,<BR/><BR/>It is encouraging to hear that. I can't say it is easy to walk out that attitude at times but I am convinced (most of the time) that God is in control. I have talked quite a bit in the past about how I get low and about how all these struggles get on top of me - but am always so encouraged when I decide to step out of my self pity, to find that God hasn't changed a bit. His love for me has not diminished - he's just waiting there for me to stop being so self absorbed and stupid. <BR/><BR/>Our relationship with God cannot be based upon how we feel - about ourselves, about Him, about our attractions, anything. If it is then the devil will do his utmost to ensure I feel crap. The more I keep my attitude in check, and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, the more I think the devil is to want to be bothered. He isn't going to get this one!<BR/><BR/>It's a challenging battle but it is one that we can have the victory in. <BR/><BR/>For the record, I do want to get married - I always have done. I am really eager to have kids too - so when God asked me to begin to deal with all these things I thought it was all going down the toilet. Now I'm beginning to see victory over my struggles and my feelings, it all seems so much more likely. <BR/><BR/>Praise God.<BR/><BR/>Look after yourself Brandon :)<BR/><BR/>Thinking of you mate,<BR/><BR/>Dave (I didn't mean to sign off with my own name before but I don't suppose it makes any difference now - DOH!)Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15104993865307022046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-56207310953978081622007-12-14T13:51:00.000-06:002007-12-14T13:51:00.000-06:00Dave,I think you have a really good attitude about...Dave,<BR/><BR/>I think you have a really good attitude about all of this. You're absolutely right when you say God's grace is sufficient. That's very true, and that's at the heart of the whole "change" issue. Whether or not God takes away a persons same-sex attractions (or whatever other stumbling block a person may have) is besides the point. His grace is enough. And His love is overwhelming--if we just accept it.<BR/><BR/>And yeah, love IS a choice. That certainly goes beyond our attractions, doesn't it? I hope God gives you a wife (if that's what you want) and blesses you richly. :)<BR/><BR/>BrandonBrendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248268499428066786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-32030912446533725712007-12-14T10:50:00.000-06:002007-12-14T10:50:00.000-06:00It is an interesting comment that Anonymous makes....It is an interesting comment that Anonymous makes. Whether or not 'gay goes away' I don't know. I do believe, as Brandon says, that all things are possible with God - for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. The thought I have though is that whether or not I default to being sexually attracted to men, love is different - it is a choice. I can choose to love a woman and take her as my wife - which I intend to do. I will be completely honest with her about my struggles, and if she will still have me then I'll give God the glory. I don't particularly have anyone in mind but the point still stands. I will not be controlled just by the desires of my flesh - I am a spiritual being also. <BR/><BR/>I am learning to rejoice about the situation God has put me in because it gives me a deeper understanding of myself, and helps me be more resolute about the future. Any decision I make about a future wife will be made with a great deal of prayer and consideration, counsel, and discussion. <BR/><BR/>I do not have to let my body and soul control what I do. They are temporary in the long term. I acknowledge that I may struggle all my life but it is a struggle worth fighting. Despite my own struggles, God is not turning me away as damaged goods - I understand His deep love for me, and His desire for me to make the right decisions and choices, following His Word. If I mess up? Well His grace is more than sufficient.<BR/><BR/>My God is awesome and there is nothing He cannot do!<BR/><BR/>Bless you guys,<BR/><BR/>DaveDavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15104993865307022046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-49316944889705090302007-12-14T00:19:00.000-06:002007-12-14T00:19:00.000-06:00Anonymous,To tell you the truth, I don't really ca...Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>To tell you the truth, I don't really care if I'm gay or straight anymore, if I'm attracted to men or women, just so long as I'm God's. That's what matters to me. And that's what I'd hoped to get across in this post. A person shouldn't turn to sex or anything else in order to feel complete. At the end of the day, it's just you and God. And it doesn't matter what a person's tempted by. That's not what matters, but whether or not you give your life to God, obey Him in all things, and allow Him to use you for the benefit of His kingdom. In the end, that's all that really matters.<BR/><BR/>I just want to clarify that in this post when I talked about Bob Blackford being introduced into a promiscuous gay lifestyle, I realize that not all gay people are promiscuous. That was just what HE experienced in his life and talked about in his book. The way he describes that part of his life, there were a lot of people having sex with a lot of different people. But I realize a great many homosexuals DO have manogomous relationships. If I was ever going to have a gay relationship again, that's how I'd want it.<BR/><BR/>In terms of whether or not people can change their sexuality, I believe it is possible. I believe that because the Bible tells us that with God, all things are possible--even this. But really, whether that can happen for a person or not is besides the point. It really doesn't matter what a person likes, but what they do. God doesn't tell us we have to be straight. All he says is we have to be Holy. And it grieves me why more people aren't proclaiming that message instead of all the other garbage being presented.<BR/><BR/>I want you to know I appreciate your concern for me. That means a lot. Best wishes back at ya. :)<BR/><BR/>BrandonBrendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18248268499428066786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6319921527453210584.post-65159664563802395392007-12-13T23:31:00.000-06:002007-12-13T23:31:00.000-06:00I feel sorry for you in a compassionate way. I hav...I feel sorry for you in a compassionate way. I have to tell you, gay doesn't go away. And until you can come to accept that of yourself you will struggle and struggle your entire life. What many gay activists would tell you is that you don't have to suffer so needlessly. Being gay doesn't mean you have to be promiscuous no more than if you were straight. Values and integrity are yours as a part of your being. I don't believe God created us just to turn us away as damaged goods. I'm 35 and am finally seeing this for myself, and I can describe how good it feels even if it is scary at times.<BR/><BR/>Best Wishes to You!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com