Sunday, April 22, 2012

Mindsets

To say I was feeling low last Wednesday would be a severe understatement. That last post reflects a lot of my thoughts lately: I’m alone, my family doesn’t want me around, I can’t make friends, I’m tired of fighting, I don’t have but a thread of strength left in me, I have trouble trusting, my faith is shaken, I don’t understand what God’s trying to teach me, I want a boyfriend… the list just seems to go on and on.

I’m sorry if I freaked anyone out. I have just felt so completely conflicted about so many things lately. And even though there are things I know I can look forward to, I just can’t seem to build up any sort of optimism within me for any of those things at the moment.

I know I’ve just not been in the best frame of mind lately. I know I need to figure certain things out for myself, and it’s just not happening. I keep trying, wanting, praying, and seeking for life to get better. I’m trying all I can to keep hope that it will, but my strength and resolve and trust just haven’t really been there like I know it should be.

Thanks to everyone who’s tried to cheer me up or encourage me. I really appreciate each of your prayers and concern. Maybe next time I can write about something a little better.

4 comments:

Thom Hunter said...

Brandon,

Those of us who have chosen to walk in the light despite a pull to darkness can certainly relate to the fog you are currently experiencing. I'm praying for you. I'm mainly praying that your faith will be strengthened and that what trust you can muster will be in the Lord. Also, that God will give you clarity so you can use your energy to stay on His path.

This is a season. I appreciate your willingness to be honest about where you are in it.

God Bless,

Thom

jennypo said...

Brandon,
I agree with Thom. I know that confusion and sense of despair better than I wish to. What you need is not to "get it together" but to be rescued. Jesus has already won the victory by the shedding of his blood, and help is on the way. I am praying for you.
Love you, brother.

Jack said...

Hey, it's been a couple weeks since this post, but I hope you're feeling better! I feel like I could've written this post not too long ago, for the simple fact that I was feeling similarly. It's confusing, frustrating, and all that stuff, and I wish it weren't so for so many peoples' sakes. But, this season will pass. It has to!

Praying for you.

Brandon said...

Thank you all for your prayers. They really do mean a lot to me. I keep trying to remain hopeful and rely more on God. Please just keep praying. I do see some bright lights up ahead.