Okay, so I have a bunch of ideas I’ve been working on, but nothing that’s completed just yet. My next post should be a follow up to the one I did a few weeks ago titled Separation of Church and State. I’ve found there were a few things I wished I’d talked about in that one, but just wasn’t thinking about at the time.
I also wanted to point out that along with changing the look of my blog (I think this was the third time now that I've done that), which I hope everyone likes, I’ve added a poll on the right side of the page, just below the links section. I plan on asking different questions periodically, and based on responses I may incorporate results into possible future articles. The current question is “What do you think about gay marriage?” If you get a chance, please let me know what you think.
On a personal note, I’m in a weird place right now, so I’d like to ask for some prayers. I don’t feel bad, but I do feel rather frustrated about a lot of things going on. I kept wondering awhile back why God wouldn’t want two men to be together. I found an answer in that it’s not my place to understand. God is so much wiser than I could ever hope to be, so if he tells me it’s wrong, I’ll have to accept he knows best and leave it at that. That alone should be good enough.
On another matter, I realize I’ve not been doing my part concerning my relationship with God. Two things in particular I’ve known I shouldn’t be doing. Yet, I’ve been doing those things anyway. Okay, and yet I’ve wondered for some reason why I’ve felt distanced from God and confused about a few things. Well, that’s what happens when you push God away in order to do your own thing. I feel like I’ve done that. So, I’m in the process of working out with God how I can get back on the right track. I’m feeling rather certain a part of this process is going to require me going to a different church. There’s just been way too much friction there for me to be able to handle it all spiritually and continue going there. It’s just weighted me down much more than what’s good for me. So, please be praying for me about that.
Other than that, school’s great this semester, I’m enjoying the flurries of snow we keep getting—though I wish it would accumulate some, and a four year long family problem finally seems to be working out in everyone’s favor, which goes to show patience is a good thing.
Other than that, I hope everyone’s doing well, and I promise to post something a little better next go around. God bless.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Why This Christian Guy Won't Stand in the Way of Gay Marriage
For several years now, people in the United States have debated about the rights of homosexuals to marry. Those of the Christian faith, at large, have typically disapproved on account of the biblical prohibitions of homosexual relationships as outlined in the book of Leviticus (Ch. 12, v. 13) in the Old Testament and by the Apostle Paul’s writings in the New Testament (1 Cor. 6:9). As a Christian, I disapprove of homosexual relationships, including gay marriages. However, unlike a great many of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I believe it would be in our best interest to allow gay marriages in our country.
One thing we have to keep in mind is that, even though many Christian men founded our nation, we are not a Christian nation. Our founders were wise enough to create a nation with religious freedom, wherein the government cannot establish any one religion above another, or impose any set of religious beliefs on its citizens. That being the case, we are allowed to believe whatever we want to believe, and, unless an action causes some form of abuse to another, we are allowed to live our lives as we see fit.
In a secular world, some people do not believe homosexual relationships are wrong. If I were not a Christian, I would see very little wrong about homosexual relationships either. One of the arguments many homosexuals make in favor of gay marriage is that nobody is harmed by it. If two men (or two women) choose to unite themselves in a committed, loving relationship (marriage), how does that harm anyone? It is a personal decision between the two, just as it is with heterosexual couples, and would affect them alone. That being the case, why shouldn’t gay marriages be allowed in our country?
If the reason is that we’re concerned about our children being negatively influenced, well, perhaps we should do a better job influencing them ourselves. But from a Christian perspective, anyone who engages in sinful behaviors or a sinful lifestyle is harming themselves—they’re allowing the devil into their lives, separating themselves from God. So, as Christians, we are eager to prevent or stop people from living a life of sin. It’s been our mission to fight sin as best we can. But, I suggest our methods of doing so are sometimes flawed in the sense that we tend to impose our values, morals, and beliefs on others in an attempt to save them. But are we right to do this? I think not. We as Christians should never be trying to force our beliefs on others. Whenever we push our ideas like this we actually turn people away from us. In consequence we potentially turn them away from church, religion, God, and the very one who can save them for all eternity, Jesus Christ, as well. With that in mind, just because we as Christians believe homosexual relationships are wrong, that does not mean we should prevent others who do not believe they are wrong from deciding for themselves whether or not they should be in one. They should be allowed to make their own decisions on the matter and not have it made for them.
In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis suggests that there is more than one particular form of marriage already in this world. He suggests there are actually two—Christian/religious marriage and secular/worldly marriage. A Christian marriage, for example, would typically be described as one man and one woman united together in a committed, loving, monogamous, lifelong relationship. A secular marriage, however, can also be that, but can be a marriage of convenience, and far less than loving, monogamous, or lifelong. Today, we have many married people who do a lot of sinful things. People are entering into open marriages, committing adultery, and behaving far less than lovingly toward their spouses. Marriages in this country aren’t perfect, whether they’re secular or religious in nature.
The point is that heterosexual marriages are allowed in almost all of their various sinful forms in this country. That being the case, why not allow homosexual marriages as well? When we allow heterosexuals to enter into a secular, open marriage, but won’t allow two gay men to enter into a loving, committed, monogamous marriage, how is that exactly fair to them? When we say a secular heterosexual marriage is okay, but not a secular (or even religious in some cases) homosexual marriage, how is that right or balanced? If you shouldn’t force your religious beliefs on others and you can’t keep heterosexuals from engaging in various sinful, but lawful, behaviors, then how can you argue you can do that toward homosexuals and yet match equality between the two groups? You can’t. To do that shows a bias against that group. When you try to do that, you come across as singling out homosexuals out of hate, prejudice, or intolerance. And if that’s the impression you leave on a person, how then can you win them over to the Lord? You will only do that if you allow people to make their own choices in life. When a person has to face the consequences of their own actions and finds those consequences to be rather harsh or displeasing, you then have an opening for which to influence them to something better. That something better is Jesus Christ. When you allow people to make their own choices, and, even if you feel they are making wrong choices, still treat them with love, dignity, and kindness, you are in a far better position to then befriend them, speak the truth to them, and influence them toward Christ and away from sin. But when you try to force others into believing as you do, into believing, in this case, that homosexual marriage is wrong, all you do is turn away those very people who want to enter into such a union. And if you do that, your whole case for wanting to fight the allowance of gay marriage—in order to save them—is no longer valid. You can’t influence someone you’ve turned off. They won’t listen.
The real issue here is that if people want to engage in homosexual activity, they’re going to, regardless of what we have to say about it. Not everyone will always listen to us, or believe as we do. That being the case, we have to look at best results. Currently, there are gay and lesbian couples that aren’t allowed hospital privileges if their partner is hospitalized. Homosexual parents who have raised children from the moment they were born, have to face the reality that should their partner die, they may lose custody of the very children they’ve loved and helped raise. Should one partner in a long-term homosexual relationship die, the other may not always be able to claim any inheritance from their deceased partner, potentially crippling them financially. Neither of these instances would happen if we would recognize these relationships as legal or on an equal level with heterosexual relationships, at least on a secular playing field.
We don’t have to like this, but in our dislike, we should never do anything to intentionally make the lives of those we disagree with harder than they have to be. In our disapproval, we should never strive to add an extra burden onto the lives of gay and lesbian couples. When we as a society allow straight couples certain rights and privileges, but not homosexual couples, we add a very heavy burden onto them that is unnecessary to say the least.
So, can gay marriage coexist with straight marriage in our country? Yes, I believe it can. If we are truly free to believe as we see fit, then it has to be allowed. And if we are going to be fair, we have to recognize that by not allowing homosexuals to marry, we do cause them some very serious hardships that otherwise they’d not have to face. But is it okay to be a Christian and accept this? That depends. Did Christ make others lives easier or harder for them? Did he force his ways onto people? Did he have compassion for the lost, or contempt? Did he say, “You have to stop this” or “You can’t do that?” or did he simply speak the truth and allow people to make up their own minds whether to follow Him in obedience or not? As Christians, we will all have to decide on our own how to respond to this issue. Are we going to be compassionate, understanding, and loving, or are we going to be tyrannical and intolerant? Either way, we must realize, whether gay marriage is eventually allowed or not, that doesn’t prevent us from continuing to speak God’s truths. In the end, our real challenge is not how to prevent gay marriage, but how to show others there is something so much better than that.
One thing we have to keep in mind is that, even though many Christian men founded our nation, we are not a Christian nation. Our founders were wise enough to create a nation with religious freedom, wherein the government cannot establish any one religion above another, or impose any set of religious beliefs on its citizens. That being the case, we are allowed to believe whatever we want to believe, and, unless an action causes some form of abuse to another, we are allowed to live our lives as we see fit.
In a secular world, some people do not believe homosexual relationships are wrong. If I were not a Christian, I would see very little wrong about homosexual relationships either. One of the arguments many homosexuals make in favor of gay marriage is that nobody is harmed by it. If two men (or two women) choose to unite themselves in a committed, loving relationship (marriage), how does that harm anyone? It is a personal decision between the two, just as it is with heterosexual couples, and would affect them alone. That being the case, why shouldn’t gay marriages be allowed in our country?
If the reason is that we’re concerned about our children being negatively influenced, well, perhaps we should do a better job influencing them ourselves. But from a Christian perspective, anyone who engages in sinful behaviors or a sinful lifestyle is harming themselves—they’re allowing the devil into their lives, separating themselves from God. So, as Christians, we are eager to prevent or stop people from living a life of sin. It’s been our mission to fight sin as best we can. But, I suggest our methods of doing so are sometimes flawed in the sense that we tend to impose our values, morals, and beliefs on others in an attempt to save them. But are we right to do this? I think not. We as Christians should never be trying to force our beliefs on others. Whenever we push our ideas like this we actually turn people away from us. In consequence we potentially turn them away from church, religion, God, and the very one who can save them for all eternity, Jesus Christ, as well. With that in mind, just because we as Christians believe homosexual relationships are wrong, that does not mean we should prevent others who do not believe they are wrong from deciding for themselves whether or not they should be in one. They should be allowed to make their own decisions on the matter and not have it made for them.
In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis suggests that there is more than one particular form of marriage already in this world. He suggests there are actually two—Christian/religious marriage and secular/worldly marriage. A Christian marriage, for example, would typically be described as one man and one woman united together in a committed, loving, monogamous, lifelong relationship. A secular marriage, however, can also be that, but can be a marriage of convenience, and far less than loving, monogamous, or lifelong. Today, we have many married people who do a lot of sinful things. People are entering into open marriages, committing adultery, and behaving far less than lovingly toward their spouses. Marriages in this country aren’t perfect, whether they’re secular or religious in nature.
The point is that heterosexual marriages are allowed in almost all of their various sinful forms in this country. That being the case, why not allow homosexual marriages as well? When we allow heterosexuals to enter into a secular, open marriage, but won’t allow two gay men to enter into a loving, committed, monogamous marriage, how is that exactly fair to them? When we say a secular heterosexual marriage is okay, but not a secular (or even religious in some cases) homosexual marriage, how is that right or balanced? If you shouldn’t force your religious beliefs on others and you can’t keep heterosexuals from engaging in various sinful, but lawful, behaviors, then how can you argue you can do that toward homosexuals and yet match equality between the two groups? You can’t. To do that shows a bias against that group. When you try to do that, you come across as singling out homosexuals out of hate, prejudice, or intolerance. And if that’s the impression you leave on a person, how then can you win them over to the Lord? You will only do that if you allow people to make their own choices in life. When a person has to face the consequences of their own actions and finds those consequences to be rather harsh or displeasing, you then have an opening for which to influence them to something better. That something better is Jesus Christ. When you allow people to make their own choices, and, even if you feel they are making wrong choices, still treat them with love, dignity, and kindness, you are in a far better position to then befriend them, speak the truth to them, and influence them toward Christ and away from sin. But when you try to force others into believing as you do, into believing, in this case, that homosexual marriage is wrong, all you do is turn away those very people who want to enter into such a union. And if you do that, your whole case for wanting to fight the allowance of gay marriage—in order to save them—is no longer valid. You can’t influence someone you’ve turned off. They won’t listen.
The real issue here is that if people want to engage in homosexual activity, they’re going to, regardless of what we have to say about it. Not everyone will always listen to us, or believe as we do. That being the case, we have to look at best results. Currently, there are gay and lesbian couples that aren’t allowed hospital privileges if their partner is hospitalized. Homosexual parents who have raised children from the moment they were born, have to face the reality that should their partner die, they may lose custody of the very children they’ve loved and helped raise. Should one partner in a long-term homosexual relationship die, the other may not always be able to claim any inheritance from their deceased partner, potentially crippling them financially. Neither of these instances would happen if we would recognize these relationships as legal or on an equal level with heterosexual relationships, at least on a secular playing field.
We don’t have to like this, but in our dislike, we should never do anything to intentionally make the lives of those we disagree with harder than they have to be. In our disapproval, we should never strive to add an extra burden onto the lives of gay and lesbian couples. When we as a society allow straight couples certain rights and privileges, but not homosexual couples, we add a very heavy burden onto them that is unnecessary to say the least.
So, can gay marriage coexist with straight marriage in our country? Yes, I believe it can. If we are truly free to believe as we see fit, then it has to be allowed. And if we are going to be fair, we have to recognize that by not allowing homosexuals to marry, we do cause them some very serious hardships that otherwise they’d not have to face. But is it okay to be a Christian and accept this? That depends. Did Christ make others lives easier or harder for them? Did he force his ways onto people? Did he have compassion for the lost, or contempt? Did he say, “You have to stop this” or “You can’t do that?” or did he simply speak the truth and allow people to make up their own minds whether to follow Him in obedience or not? As Christians, we will all have to decide on our own how to respond to this issue. Are we going to be compassionate, understanding, and loving, or are we going to be tyrannical and intolerant? Either way, we must realize, whether gay marriage is eventually allowed or not, that doesn’t prevent us from continuing to speak God’s truths. In the end, our real challenge is not how to prevent gay marriage, but how to show others there is something so much better than that.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Separation of Church and State
Merry Christmas, everyone! I know this note doesn't exactly fit the Christmas theme or season, but it's something that's been on my mind for awhile now, which I've only recently had the time to write. I'll apologize up front for it's length, but I hope you'll all read this and respond. And again, have a very merry Christmas.
I've long believed that to attempt to separate church and state to it's fullest extent possible would be nothing short of a complete catastrophe. Just as having the church and state united to its fullest form has proven foolhardy whenever attempted in the past, so would having the two completely separated, as was the case, in part, with the communist Soviet Union. As many would guess, I am not in favor of the complete separation of church and state. However, I do agree with a great many liberals that there should and must be some degree of separation between the two.
When Rome fell, it was the church for which people turned to for authority and leadership. For a time, this was perhaps a very good thing. The church, being the embodiment of Christ, can do a lot of good when given such a good degree of power. However, the church being comprised of flawed and sinful human beings, despite its strong connections with Christ, can still do a great deal of evil when given unlimited powers. It does not take much to corrupt a man's actions when their actions are left unchecked and unquestioned. There has been a great deal of evil done throughout the course of mankind's existence in the name of God and Christ and goodness. I'll bring your attention to the Inquisition, which took place due to the authority given to the church. Many innocent people were not only tortured but murdered because of their rightly or wrongly believed beliefs against the church. To control its masses, the church provided fear to the people in order to retain their power over them. And their desire was to enforce Christian beliefs upon all peoples.
This is foolhardy. And this is why it is not good for the church to have total authority over the state. You see, the state itself is a secular institution. Whenever the two are united to become one, one may be improved, the other degraded, but both corrupted by their unity. Whatever people may hope to believe, the answer to an improved state is not for it to be governed or put in the hands of the church to control. That has been proven well not to work.
Having said this, I do not believe the two, church and state, can, nor ever should be, completely separated. For when that happens, the two can very easily become enemies. The state wanting to condemn the church for what it wants and the church wanting to condemn the state for its wants, neither working with the other for the good of their people. That is why the two should never be entirely divided. To eliminate all connections would be just as incomprehensible and as destructive as the other extreme.
In our modern times, as we foolishly call them so, we have been presented with this particular dilemma again. How far should the church and state be divided, and to what extreme measures should we take to achieve this? Some would argue that Christians have no place at all within the political sphere. Some would attest that any public acts of worship be completely forbidden. And still, some would insist we have only secularism, without any church or religion at all. Within our society, the extreme toward secularism is already proven its way forward. Just as the total control of the church has proven foolhardy, so has the total control of the state. I do not doubt we are heading in a very grim direction. For just as the church has tried to enforce its ways through acts of violence, so has and will a completely secular state try to enforce its ways upon those of faith (persecution). I personally believe it can be a very good thing when men and women of faith enter the world of politics. If they remain governed by their Christian values and morals then they should prove to be decent politicians who truly do good things for the people they represent. I will always vote in any election for the man whom I believe holds to these values and morals above anything else. That is the man or woman I will most likely trust to be honest, good, kind, and moral when in office. Now, though that is the person I would want in office, I would not expect that person to create or enforce laws, which would impose certain Christian beliefs upon others. It is not the business of the church to attempt forcing others to believe as it does. Being tyrannical never wins anyone over for the Lord. All that does is promote fear and hatred of the church, and in consequence, towards Christ.
This, I believe, is a moderate view. It is the view that people of faith should be allowed a part or place in the workings of the state, so long as they do not attempt, once allowed into that place, to force Christian beliefs onto other people. Influence should certainly be allowed, but enforcement, no.
One other reason for why I believe this way is because of what I already mentioned about enemies. When the two become completely divided, or separated, they naturally become inclined to distrust and dislike each other. If all people of faith are excluded from politics, then that naturally means all people of the secular state are excluded from the church, religion, or faith. Or, we will have no politicians and be governed by who knows whom. As Christians, we should not want this. As secular beings, we should not want the church excluded from the state either. Men of high morals will do far better than those with very little. Now this is not to suggest men of faith always act morally. Far too often they do not act morally at all. But this is just to suggest they are perhaps more likely to act moral. So, it is good for the two to be united to some extent. Not completely united, but not completed separated either.
What's more, if a Christian does enter into politics, to ask them, or to demand of them, not to consider their faith in making decisions is quite impossible and impractical. If a Christian man is elected to the office of the president, of course he should govern as the Christian man he is. He should not attempt to be something he is not just to prove separation of church and state. To separate a man in such a way is to make him two-faced, and able of doing very little good to satisfy anyone in such a state. I tend to believe to some extent our current president, George W. Bush, has at times faced this dilemma. He has had to decide whether he should be a Christian president or a secular one. Depending on the situation and the company around him, he has made his decisions, but in doing so, I believe he has obviously separated himself into two people. There is the Christian president who upholds most Christian values and morals, helping with AID's causes in Africa and implementing additional tax breaks for churches that provide a public service, and there is the secular president who seems to favor war to diplomacy and fights for measures which allow the rich to get richer and the poor poorer. Granted, speaking of President Bush, he has made his decisions of his own accord. No one has forced him to be the sort of president he has been. Influenced, perhaps, but not forced, I do not believe. But clearly, he is a president who at times has acted very Christlike, while at other times, very non-Christlike. His presidency proves many things though. One is that even a Christian man can do a bad job in office and do a lot of potentially immoral things while in that position. Two, he is a Christian who I believe has genuinely tried to follow his faith while in office. At times this has proven both wise and unwise. As a Christian, he has attempted at times to push his faith down others' throats. For instance, he has said on many occasions that he would support an amendment to the constitution banning gay marriage. Now, as a Christian, I am not in support of gay marriage. However, I strongly disagree that it is the governments place to tell two people how they should or should not live their lives in such a way. If two gay men, or two gay women, wish to be united in a secular marriage, it's their business to do so. And so, I believe this is one regard where the Christian President Bush has overstepped some. Three, President Bush, as a Christian, has given in to many secular demands. The call to war, for instance, could be an example of this. Likewise, his less than always truthful, or moral, means by which he got elected and then reelected as president are certainly in question here.
But let's say a man unwilling to compromise his Christian beliefs becomes president of the United States. Should he be asked to compromise? If he does not compromise, should he be forced out of office? Here is the conflict. How can a truly Christian man become the leader of a secular institution? For if he becomes its leader, will he have to compromise, ask others to compromise, or will he completely rule by tyranny to promote his ideals or beliefs onto others? Or, another possibility, will he do nothing?
A solution to this problem can be summed up by one phrase spoken by Jesus, which is, “Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and unto God what is God's”. In the realm of politics, I should think this would mean that a Christian man should do what he can through that office for the Lord, but likewise handle those secular issues as best he can without infringing on those of secular beliefs and without disregarding his own conscience. This was a solution brought forward by the famous World War I hero, Alvin C. York. When drafted to fight in war, he knew he'd be called to kill other human beings. Being a man of faith, a Christian, he believed killing people was a sin against the Lord. After several attempts for exemption as a conscientious objector, and being denied that request, he had no choice but to become a soldier. Before going to Europe, however, his superiors, knowing he'd objected to fighting in that war, confronted him about his decision. He explained his side of things and then they explained theirs. From their standpoint, fighting for the freedom, defense, and security of their nation and others made the killing okay (perhaps not okay, but justifiable). It was killing only in defense. York thought upon this and still struggled with his thoughts. His superiors sent him back home to think about his beliefs. If after a short time he still couldn't agree to fight, they would allow him to leave the army.
York went home and thought about what he should do. He believed in the defense of others and in securing freedom and his nations right to exist, but he also believed the Lord was against violence and against people killing others. He became very torn between serving his country and serving his God. In the end, he came upon the passage I referred to in the Bible, where Jesus is asked about paying taxes. The response from Jesus was for people to give unto their country, unto the secular institutions by which they were bound, those things that belonged to them, and to likewise give unto God the things that are God's. The answer was to do both. And so York went back to the army, fought as a Christian man in defense of others, and became perhaps the hero of World War I, capturing a great number of German soldiers and doing so almost completely by himself. Now, did he act as a Christian, or did he act secularly? The answer is, in a way, he did both. He had to act secularly to defend his and other's Christian way of life, which if not defended, may not have lasted. He defended and protected others against a grave threat, while simultaneously fighting for the country, the secular institution to which he belonged, and fighting to preserve the ways of God.
Concerning President Bush, had he followed this way of thinking, he'd have done the good for the Christians and those of faith which he has done, but would have ignored the gay marriage issue and other similar issues that serve more to restrict people who do not believe as he does or that divides us as Americans. He would have therefore done good for both Christian and secular, tearing neither one down above the other. There are things for which a Christian can do for both his God and his country without being immoral about either. Those are the things that should be fought for by the Christian politician.
I will agree that it is probably best for the Christian to remain out of politics altogether though. At least it might be best for him. Politics is a world of compromising. One may be able to do so to a certain extent and still be okay, but if tempted to overrule all previous Christian convictions while in office, they may very well be doing themselves a great deal of harm concerning their spiritual lives, and perhaps physical as well. If a Christian wishes to enter politics, it may very well be best that their political aspirations remain small and they fight only for a few good causes that work against no one, but only to the benefit of everyone.
But still, I do not see justified the claims of those who believe in a total separation of church and state. When they are separated completely, or united completed, no one is benefited. But when you have the two working together, side by side, keeping the other in check, that is when the greatest good comes about.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Battle In the Church
Have any of you heard about the group of lesbians who invaded a church in Michigan shouting profanities and disrupting the service? It is absolutely incomprehensible and inexcusable what went on. I know people can get upset, but really, this is just an extreme that should be made an example of. Please read the story at http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=80743. I personally hope they arrested every one of them for public disturbance.
I just don't understand peoples anger sometimes. I've been rather furious before, but never to the extent that I would have so little disrespect for churchgoers (or any group) including children in such a fashion as this.
Let me tell you folks, if you want to win any sort of argument, this is by no means the way to do it. Acting as these lesbians did will only turn even more people against you. Use your brains. Not violence.
The one thing I do admire from this story is the response of the church members. To remain calm and not resort to violence or revenge of any sort was very admirable on their part.
But please read this story. I have a feeling it won't be the last time something like this will happen. Let us pray about that and hope that a right Christian response will always be given.
I just don't understand peoples anger sometimes. I've been rather furious before, but never to the extent that I would have so little disrespect for churchgoers (or any group) including children in such a fashion as this.
Let me tell you folks, if you want to win any sort of argument, this is by no means the way to do it. Acting as these lesbians did will only turn even more people against you. Use your brains. Not violence.
The one thing I do admire from this story is the response of the church members. To remain calm and not resort to violence or revenge of any sort was very admirable on their part.
But please read this story. I have a feeling it won't be the last time something like this will happen. Let us pray about that and hope that a right Christian response will always be given.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Where I'm At
Well, I've not fallen off the face of the earth or anything. I figured everyone might like to know what I've been up to, and since I somehow managed to find an extra minute or two I decided to write something.
I've been consumed with schoolwork lately. It's absurd. I'm not even kidding. I've never in all my life had so much homework to have to do. I had to quit my job a couple of weeks ago just so I could get it all done. I've been spending every single day not in school just playing catch up with it all, and still just barely being able to finish everything I need to do. I've literally been a nervous wreck about this. I've just been in a constant state of panic that I won't be able to get everything done in time. The other day I was eating and noticed I couldn't stop shaking my hands. I realized I just couldn't get away from that feeling of panic. Due to that, I've intentionally tried to calm down the last couple of days by doing things to get my mind off of school.
I went last night to see the new James Bond film. In case any of you didn't know, I'm a Bond fanatic. I love those movies. I even love the books. I've read just about every one of them Fleming wrote--some of them twice, actually. Bond was even the inspiration for my first book, as a matter of fact. So, what did I think of the movie? It was pretty good, but there were things I disliked about it. It wasn't nearly as good as the last one. This one just had too many over-the-top action sequences in it and not enough story. I was especially disappointed that the gun barrel sequence was missing from the beginning again. It worked in the last film, but I didn't think they pulled its absence off very well in this one. They waited until the very end, where it just seemed sort of out of place. And then some of the things Bond did in the film just was not Bond-like at all. For instance, at one point he throws a deceased colleague into a garbage bin, robs him, and takes off leaving him there, proclaiming he didn't think the man would mind. I cringed watching that scene because it was nothing that Fleming's Bond would ever have done. He just wouldn't have dumped a friend in the garbage like that and took off. That's not cool! But overall the movie was good. I liked it. And I was glad to have finally been able to see it. I'd been waiting in anticipation for months now. Oh, and I guess I should apologize if I've ruined it for anyone just now. I might should have made the disclaimer previously.
On a few other points of interest, I was thoroughly disappointed on election night. I was not in support of Barrack Obama at all. I didn't cry by McCain's defeat though, because I personally thought he ran a fairly poor campaign, and the loss was pretty much expected. But, nevertheless, it was rather depressing. Of the two men, I really don't think either was any count, but I did feel like McCain would do a better job cleaning up some of the corruption in Washington and getting at least a hint of bipartisanship back into the system. I really don't know that Obama will be able to do that. I also liked McCain's plans for the housing market, which is something Obama opposed. But as I said, overall neither man impressed me. I was just voting for who seemed to me to be the lesser of two evils. I'll freely admit I may have been blindsided or prejudiced in my decision. I don't say prejudiced because of Obama's skin color--I could care less--but because I'm Republican. I wanted the elephant to win.
I was also disappointed by the Proposition 8 decision and the other similar ballot measures that passed. Now, I'm not a supporter of gay marriage per se, but I don't think the government has any right to legislate such a thing. For one, it shows a bias against homosexuals. I say that because the government will willingly recognize just about any form of heterosexual relationship, but the minute homosexuality is hinted at, it slams its fist down. And I'm rather bothered by the Christian response out of all this. Don't Christians know how their fighting gay marriages causes homosexuals to dislike and distance themselves from them? Allow people to live and let live. What harm does this really do anyone, but the ones who want it? And just how does any Christian think that opposing gay marriages will lead any gay person closer to Christ? All this does is reinforce the idea to homosexuals that Christians are the enemy. It turns homosexuals away from them. And, really, who could blame them? So, why not allow gay marriages? Why not allow homosexuals to have what they want? It doesn't mean you have to stop trying to reach out to them to win them for Christ. It just means you're not going to be in their face every waking moment of the day, dictating how they are to live their lives. Now, just to make clear, I don't approve of gay marriages. I don't think that's in line with God's wishes. But I dislike the ban on gay marriages because I do think it's an injustice to peoples freedoms and personal beliefs. And I find it appalling to think of Christians trying to impose their religious and moral beliefs on others by helping pass legislation of this kind that serves no other purpose but that.
I'll say more on this subject later, so please don't jump to any wild conclusions just yet. There's much more I plan on saying soon about this.
So anyway, that's all for now. I will just ask that anyone interested please be praying for me. I've been so busy with school stuff that it's just been hard for me to find time for friends and family lately. I feel as though I've probably alienated some of them. I couldn't really help it. If I'd made more time for them I wouldn't have got my schoolwork done, so I hope they understand. Heck, the Bond movie was actually the first fun thing I've been able to do in weeks now, and thankfully I was able to include my dad and brother in that little outing. But because of all this stuff I've just felt so alone these last couple of months. I just feel as if I don't have anyone, and it's really starting to get at me a bit. You can imagine what temptations this has brought on me. So, yeah, please be praying, for me and for my family. We could all use it right about now, I think.
God bless, and hopefully it won't take me so long to write again.
I've been consumed with schoolwork lately. It's absurd. I'm not even kidding. I've never in all my life had so much homework to have to do. I had to quit my job a couple of weeks ago just so I could get it all done. I've been spending every single day not in school just playing catch up with it all, and still just barely being able to finish everything I need to do. I've literally been a nervous wreck about this. I've just been in a constant state of panic that I won't be able to get everything done in time. The other day I was eating and noticed I couldn't stop shaking my hands. I realized I just couldn't get away from that feeling of panic. Due to that, I've intentionally tried to calm down the last couple of days by doing things to get my mind off of school.
I went last night to see the new James Bond film. In case any of you didn't know, I'm a Bond fanatic. I love those movies. I even love the books. I've read just about every one of them Fleming wrote--some of them twice, actually. Bond was even the inspiration for my first book, as a matter of fact. So, what did I think of the movie? It was pretty good, but there were things I disliked about it. It wasn't nearly as good as the last one. This one just had too many over-the-top action sequences in it and not enough story. I was especially disappointed that the gun barrel sequence was missing from the beginning again. It worked in the last film, but I didn't think they pulled its absence off very well in this one. They waited until the very end, where it just seemed sort of out of place. And then some of the things Bond did in the film just was not Bond-like at all. For instance, at one point he throws a deceased colleague into a garbage bin, robs him, and takes off leaving him there, proclaiming he didn't think the man would mind. I cringed watching that scene because it was nothing that Fleming's Bond would ever have done. He just wouldn't have dumped a friend in the garbage like that and took off. That's not cool! But overall the movie was good. I liked it. And I was glad to have finally been able to see it. I'd been waiting in anticipation for months now. Oh, and I guess I should apologize if I've ruined it for anyone just now. I might should have made the disclaimer previously.
On a few other points of interest, I was thoroughly disappointed on election night. I was not in support of Barrack Obama at all. I didn't cry by McCain's defeat though, because I personally thought he ran a fairly poor campaign, and the loss was pretty much expected. But, nevertheless, it was rather depressing. Of the two men, I really don't think either was any count, but I did feel like McCain would do a better job cleaning up some of the corruption in Washington and getting at least a hint of bipartisanship back into the system. I really don't know that Obama will be able to do that. I also liked McCain's plans for the housing market, which is something Obama opposed. But as I said, overall neither man impressed me. I was just voting for who seemed to me to be the lesser of two evils. I'll freely admit I may have been blindsided or prejudiced in my decision. I don't say prejudiced because of Obama's skin color--I could care less--but because I'm Republican. I wanted the elephant to win.
I was also disappointed by the Proposition 8 decision and the other similar ballot measures that passed. Now, I'm not a supporter of gay marriage per se, but I don't think the government has any right to legislate such a thing. For one, it shows a bias against homosexuals. I say that because the government will willingly recognize just about any form of heterosexual relationship, but the minute homosexuality is hinted at, it slams its fist down. And I'm rather bothered by the Christian response out of all this. Don't Christians know how their fighting gay marriages causes homosexuals to dislike and distance themselves from them? Allow people to live and let live. What harm does this really do anyone, but the ones who want it? And just how does any Christian think that opposing gay marriages will lead any gay person closer to Christ? All this does is reinforce the idea to homosexuals that Christians are the enemy. It turns homosexuals away from them. And, really, who could blame them? So, why not allow gay marriages? Why not allow homosexuals to have what they want? It doesn't mean you have to stop trying to reach out to them to win them for Christ. It just means you're not going to be in their face every waking moment of the day, dictating how they are to live their lives. Now, just to make clear, I don't approve of gay marriages. I don't think that's in line with God's wishes. But I dislike the ban on gay marriages because I do think it's an injustice to peoples freedoms and personal beliefs. And I find it appalling to think of Christians trying to impose their religious and moral beliefs on others by helping pass legislation of this kind that serves no other purpose but that.
I'll say more on this subject later, so please don't jump to any wild conclusions just yet. There's much more I plan on saying soon about this.
So anyway, that's all for now. I will just ask that anyone interested please be praying for me. I've been so busy with school stuff that it's just been hard for me to find time for friends and family lately. I feel as though I've probably alienated some of them. I couldn't really help it. If I'd made more time for them I wouldn't have got my schoolwork done, so I hope they understand. Heck, the Bond movie was actually the first fun thing I've been able to do in weeks now, and thankfully I was able to include my dad and brother in that little outing. But because of all this stuff I've just felt so alone these last couple of months. I just feel as if I don't have anyone, and it's really starting to get at me a bit. You can imagine what temptations this has brought on me. So, yeah, please be praying, for me and for my family. We could all use it right about now, I think.
God bless, and hopefully it won't take me so long to write again.
Friday, October 3, 2008
True Love
I heard this song a few weeks back and fell in love with it.
The last few weeks I've struggled quite a lot with my own wall of struggles. I think my stress level quite literally has been through the roof lately--unmeasurable. The gray hairs just seem to keep getting to be more and more.
I'm reminded how much Jesus loves me though. And like this song says, Jesus can bring down all those walls we have in our lives, getting in our way and holding us back. He can make all wrongs right.
I just want to say I've appreciated so much the concerns and prayers some of you have sent my way. I've needed your prayers. They've helped and comforted me for sure.
I don't want to lose hope. I've tasted that and it's just not a good taste. There's a horrible bitterness to having a lack of hope--to despairing. This song helps me. I hope it'll help you too.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Back To School, And So Little Time
Sorry folks it's been so long since I've written. I've had a bunch of things to write about, but I've found my time has become a precious commodity lately, and I just haven't had enough of it to blog.
So, what's taken up all my time? SCHOOL!!! That's right, I've been back in school this semester. I had dropped out of college a few years back, mostly because I was just so incredibly burned out, but also, and probably more importantly, because I was having some major doubts about what career I was aiming to go into. So, rather than spend the money for a degree I might not ever use, I decided to drop out and wait until I was sure about what I wanted to do. Four years later, I'm back at it again. Some of the doubts are still there, but I'm determined to finish school this time around and get that darn degree. I realize, even if I never use it, having it can never hurt me. Besides, maybe just getting back in school will help me move along and progress a little. I'd been feeling a little stuck the last couple of years, so maybe this will help. But getting back to the reason why I haven't been blogging much lately, I've been just absolutely swamped with homework. So, with work, school, and homework, my free time has become pretty limited. And I'll admit, I've been fairly exhausted the last few weeks. What free time I have managed to get, blogging just wasn't on my mind.
Okay, so the point of this post, besides telling you all what I've been up to, is to discuss some of my thoughts lately. Since getting back in school lust has become a much larger issue with me. Being on campus I find it almost impossible to keep my eyes from looking, and there is just way too much to be looking at. I forgot about how many good-looking guys there could be on a college campus.
I met this incredibly cute guy on the first day of classes. I thought I caught him looking at me a few times from across the room, and admittedly, I honestly couldn't keep my eyes off of him. And the following day of classes we ended up sitting next to each other and have ever since. He's just a really great guy. Well, up until a couple of class meetings back, I honestly thought he was interested in me. And I'll admit, I was developing a full-fledged crush on him. Then, he dropped the bomb. Not only is he happily heterosexual, but he has a girlfriend to boot. So, I was sort of stupidly crushed for a couple of days. I know this was foolish of me, but in a way, I don't think it was too very foolish either. I'm tired of feeling lonely—so sue me for wanting companionship! The way I see it, if we had gotten together... Well, I'm not sure what I'm saying. I just don't feel like it would have been that big a deal.
I don't think I care so much anymore. To be honest, I don't know what I believe anymore. I keep wondering why God would think it so wrong for two gay men to fall in love, want to spend all their lives together, and, yes, even express their love for each other through sexual means. The argument that's always weighed heaviest on me is that God didn't design us for such things. But I wonder why God would care so much if we simply found a way to enjoy His design in a way He may not have intended. For example, someone creates a product that is just absolutely wonderful, and later, someone else realizes a great new use for that product—one which the creator never really intended, but doesn't really cause any harm to anyone or anything in itself. Now, I wonder, what is so wrong with that? I sometimes seriously don't have an answer for that. So then I turn to the second reason why not to be in a homosexual relationship, which is faith in what the church calls sin as being accurate. The problem with that is that I know at times the church hasn't always been right about certain things. But I'm not sure what to believe. If I do end up finding a guy interested in me, I don't know if I'll act on that or not.
And now I wonder if perhaps I'm just so tired of the fight that I've given up on it. And if that is what's going on, then I realize I may not be where I need to be.
Getting back to school for a moment, I have felt a little overwhelmed. In a couple of my classes I feel so lost that it isn't even funny. And I find it absurd the way some teachers seem to think you can't be learning unless the process is as complicated and confusing as humanly possible. It's like nothing in college can ever be simple.
So anyhow, that's where I'm at. I'll do my best not to wait so long before writing again, but I suppose that'll depend on everything else going on. Hopefully things won't get too crazy.
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