Gay in Russia

Apparently, Russia has decided to get tough on homosexuals, passing laws and regulations designed to harass, discriminate, and essentially keep homosexuals in the closet and on the fringe of society.

I thought the world—especially countries that claim to be developed and civilized at this point, like Russia—had moved beyond some of this crap. I guess not.

So, I came across the following video the other day. It shows a fifteen year old gay teen boy being lured into entrapment by a group of people who claim to want to help him, but who obviously only really want to embarrass, harass, and torment him. Watch it for yourself. Then read my thoughts on it.



Okay, so first off, I think the people who tricked this kid are monsters. Even though they claimed to want to help him, they certainly seemed bent on wanting to belittle and harass him more than anything else—they wouldn’t let him leave, they got right in his face, they threatened him with violence and were somewhat violent, and they told him they were going to tell everyone at his school and on Facebook what he’d done. In my opinion, these people were nothing more than violent and heartless—as I already said: monsters.

As for the kid, I think he was most likely gay, even though he claimed not to be. I mean, if I was ambushed in such a way I’d probably claim not to be gay as well. I do think it was a bad idea for him to try meeting up with a stranger for paid sex. Although, in a culture that treats homosexuals with such contempt, this may have been the only way this young kid believed he could actually meet up with other gay people. So, I can, without excusing his behavior, at the very least have an honest understanding about it. There again, maybe he just really needed the money. Regardless of his reasons for being there, he did not deserve to be treated the way he was. He was just fifteen years old. More than likely he really hadn’t been in such activities before or even really been involved in any capacity with other guys before. His parents and friends didn’t know he was gay. He was scared. I mean, what part of what these other people did to him did they think was legitimately helping him? If anything, this particular experience will probably only cause him to have problems—emotional and otherwise.

I pray that he will be okay.

Human rights have never been anything strong in Russia. Throughout communist rule, in particular, there were many people abused on a systematic and frequent basis. The current president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, seems pretty determined on reverting back to the old ways, and his policies have achieved that in many regards. I wish the people of Russia would realize what harm they’re doing and would change some of their attitudes and laws.

I’ve had people mistreat me for being gay before. Most of those people didn’t even know for sure, but only perceived that I was gay. I’ve been called names and been threatened with violence.  I’ve had people completely turn away from me because they either knew or thought I was gay. It sucks to be treated like that. It sucks to be treated like a lesser person, of little or no value, simply because of something about me that I never asked for, didn’t want, and couldn’t change.

I don’t understand why people can’t just leave others alone. Why do they feel that they have to interfere in the lives of everybody else; condemning, belittling, and judging people as though they are somehow flawless themselves?

There are two things I think everyone should keep in mind. The first to the love their neighbors as themselves, and the second is to worry less about the speck in everyone else’s eyes while they have planks in their own. The world would certainly be a far better place if more people would adhere to these two things, or to at the very least attempt to live by them.

I am a gay man. Some people may not like that about me, some people may not want to accept that about me, some people may not want to hear it or know it at all, and may want to treat me like total crap because of it, but it is a part of who I am. It just is what it is, and it’s not anything that I, or anyone else, should be mistreated for. When people do act that way, I try not to let it get me down. I know in my heart that I am who I am, that I do have value and worth, and that even despite all my flaws, God does want and love me. No words or actions on the part of anyone else can ever take that away from me.

I hope and pray that the kid in this video can come to a similar understanding and won’t let what happened to him get him down.

Anti-Reparative Therapy Laws

Should parents be banned from forcing or allowing their kids to undergo reparative therapy to “cure” homosexuality?

Many LGBT friendly groups have recently attempted to push through legislation that would do just that. I understand their thoughts behind it, but I think there is a fine line between looking after the best interests of a child from a societal viewpoint (parents can’t physically abuse their children), and looking after the best interests of a child from a parental viewpoint (children can’t stay out past 9pm).

People tend to have very different beliefs when it comes to raising kids. Some parents believe it is okay to spank their children, others don’t. Some parents believe in taking their children to church with them to pass on their religious beliefs, others don’t. Some parents believe in making their children work for their first car, others don’t. And the list could go on and on.

When it comes to sexuality, I understand full well why some parents would want their children to undergo reparative therapy, but I also understand why many people would believe that to be emotionally, as well as perhaps physically (in some cases) abusive to a child. Parents who are religious may simply want to help their child/children from growing up and engaging in sexual activities that they believe are sinful and/or harmful to them. Others may view sexuality so concretely that teaching anything other than full acceptance is harmful.

My personal belief is that reparative therapy should be allowed, but that children should never be forced to undergo it.

I think back to when I was younger, in middle school and high school days, and wishing so much that I wasn’t gay. I wanted a cure. I wanted something, anything, to help take away those feelings. Not knowing of anything like that, and wanting to adhere to my religious beliefs more than any physical and emotional wants, it was devastating to me thinking that there was no cure, or no way to fight. I thought I had no choice but to be gay.

At that time, I know that accepting my sexuality for what it is would have in no way made me feel better about myself. I’m okay now, but at the time, I needed some hope that I didn’t have to be gay, because in my eyes, that just wasn’t an option. And I do believe that that was a big reason for why I felt so suicidal there in my late teens and early twenties. I felt I had no choice but to be something that I so desperately did not want to be. I didn’t stop feeling suicidal and start realizing that my attractions to other men were okay, and to accept myself, until I sought out help from Exodus International, a place specializing in reparative therapy.

Did it help me to seek treatment? Yes, it did. Should I have had to seek treatment? No, probably not. Was it my choice to seek treatment? Yes. Could I have found help in some other way, perhaps even a better way? Probably. Should a person, at any age, be forced to undergo reparative therapy? No. And I say no to that last question because it can do no good whatsoever to a person who doesn’t want it. But if a person wants to try and believes it is what is best for them, then it can be a great source of hope and should be allowed.

It doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with the merits of reparative therapy. That doesn’t really matter. You could still argue for a better way. What does matter is that if this type of therapy actually does in some way help some people, to make them feel better about who they are, then why would you purposefully want to deny them that? What good would that do a person who has a mindset so firmly opposed to living as a homosexual? None.

Based on all of this, I think it wise to allow reparative therapy to continue. I will never agree with any law that would totally ban it. However, I would stipulate that if it does continue, it should only ever be completely voluntary. A law promoting the use of reparative therapy only in this matter, I would agree with.