Mary, Mother of God

I used to be very much opposed to many Catholic beliefs. I didn’t believe that the Eucharist actually was Christ’s flesh and blood, but only a symbolic representation of them. I didn’t believe it necessary to seek out forgiveness of my sins from other Christians (those sins which I didn’t directly perceive to pertain to them). I didn’t believe (or actually just didn’t know about) the sacraments. I didn’t believe Mary was or should be called the mother of God. And I didn’t believe in the hierarchy of the church (I still question this point to some extent, but I have grown to accept that some degree of leadership should be about to help connect all groups of Christians).

These are all points in which I have changed my views in the last few years. I very much believe in the sacraments now. I find it hard to believe Christ’s presence can’t be found in certain events or things. I believe one Christian’s sins do in fact affect the rest of the body of Christ, and so therefore forgiveness should be asked for from other Christians (a priest or other Christian of authority to speak on behalf of all other Christians that indeed your sins have been forgiven). I believe the Eucharist literally is transformed into the blood and flesh of Jesus Christ. I accept this somewhat cannibalistic notion because Christ is noted in the bible as having said, in so many words, that the bread and wine are his flesh and blood, and because the oldest established Christian beliefs pertaining to this, belong to Catholics, who accept Jesus’ teaching on the matter very literally. And I do believe Mary is and can be called the mother of God.

On that last belief, I can use some very basic reasoning to justify. Jesus said he was God. Jesus was born of Mary. So, therefore, Mary was the mother of God. I think it’s as simple as that.

I know a lot of Christians don’t believe this, but it’s because they want to debate which came first (the chicken or the egg?) in this matter, but that really isn’t necessary or an accurate approach. Of course, with most humans, our beginnings are from conception within our mothers from which we are born. But God’s beginning was not as ours. He was well alive and in spirit long before his conception as a human. Looking at things in this light, stating that he was born as a human through Mary, we should have no problem calling Mary the mother of God. A lot of Christians want to look at the Catholic’s view on this as Catholics saying Mary was before God, but that is a serious misunderstanding. Catholics simply recognize that Mary gave birth to God, as God being in human form (part of the trinity). If you’re a Christian who believes Jesus was God, and Mary was indeed Jesus’ mother, then Mary must have been the mother of God. If you don’t believe that, then you must either believe Jesus wasn’t God, or that Mary wasn’t really Jesus’ mother.

Anyway, my whole point to all of this is that as I’ve grown into my faith, my beliefs on certain points have changed. I’m not saying I’ve become Catholic, but I am much more sympathetic to those viewpoints than I ever used to be.

Broken

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Things were good on my end. I’d have liked to written a post beforehand, but I honestly couldn’t think of anything appropriate to write for the occasion. It hasn’t helped either that my mind has been overworked. I’ve had a lot going on lately.

Anyway, I’ve had something bugging me, and I wanted to share this and get it off my mind.

I remember writing some time back, either on this blog or as a commenter on another, that knowing Jesus makes life easier. I think I was wrong to believe that. This last year, I’ve not gone to church much at all. When I have, I’ve become guilt ridden, frustrated, angry, edgy, depressed, and faced battles of feeling really low self-esteem and self-worth. Life is not easier knowing Jesus. It can certainly be better in a lot of ways, but far from easy. Knowing Jesus takes a lot of work, and it takes a lot out of you.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This last year I’ve increasingly felt more and more of a resistance to anything God-related. I think, to an extent, it is because knowing Jesus is hard, and it brings to mind a lot of the negative aspects of my life/past. I don’t like feeling this resistance. It’s affected my faith in some rather major ways. I’ve had a lot of doubts about Christianity.

I hate saying or thinking that.

I know this is probably going to sound out in left field, but it’s something that really has weighed on my mind lately and something that has seriously caused some doubts in me. I don’t understand why God would be so vain as to require circumcision as a necessity to showing faith in Him (talking about the Israelites). Why would God make this requirement and then come down to Earth and preach a message that circumcision of the flesh is meaningless, and that it is actually circumcision of the heart that really counts? I’m confused by this. If physical circumcision was so important that God would threaten to cast out Moses for not circumcising his son, then why would He a few centuries later say that it’s not that important? I guess God can change His mind, but that in itself begs the question if God really is all-knowing, all-wise. I can’t help thinking that circumcision was simply an ancient custom adopted by the Israelites at some point and accredited as God’s commandment for His people later on. And if that is true, then perhaps a lot more of what we read about in the Old Testament is untrue, or at least not the whole truth. Perhaps there is indeed a God, but a lot of His so called commandments, really are not from Him at all, but made by people who simply thought they knew what was best for their people during the times in which they lived.

These doubts aside, I’ve felt so much of a resistance to going to church, reading my bible, praying, or just having anything at all to do with God. I feel like I’m going to hell. But aside from that, I’ve felt better about myself, been more outgoing, and relaxed about life the last few months than I probably ever have. It’s really only the last few weeks that that has begun to change. I did not go to church this last Sunday, but I did go the previous five Sundays. I was glad to go. But I didn’t at any moment feel as though I belonged. And I’ve been reminded of how much I tried to belong a few years ago and never was really allowed to. I’ve had a lot of doubts creep in, old wounds resurface, and in general felt like I’m just a piece of crap. I don’t know how to feel close to God. I don’t know how to feel close to other Christians. I don’t know where I belong in the great realm of Christianity. And all of this bothers me a lot.

I do believe in God. I think it’s ridiculous to believe everything in this great big universe just came about of its own accord. But I do doubt a lot of what we Christians have been taught about God. I think, as in today, people in the past may have been wrong on their teachings and beliefs. How do we know that certain dreams weren’t just that and nothing else? How do we know that certain visions weren’t really episodes of drunkenness, hallucinations, and/or forms of mental illness? How do we know that Moses didn’t just take old stories (maybe of truth or myth) and add a bit of his own thinking to help rule the Israelites? How do we know that the good men and women of the Bible weren’t really as honest or noble as we’ve been taught they were? Perhaps their actions were more in the line of best intentions than clearly presenting what they knew as the truth. Along that line, I can’t help thinking about the Catholic view that Mary must have not died, but ascended into Heaven sometime late in her life. I see no proof at all to suggest that this is the case. There are no eye-witnesses, no one that wrote about it near the time that it supposedly happened, nothing. I think it’s likely that the Apostle John took Mary into hiding, to protect and to care for her, as Jesus wished, and she eventually died in obscurity. I think it’s likely that no one knew what happened to Mary. And embarrassed not to know this about the mother of the person for whom the church was founded, some early Christian leaders came to the conclusion that surely she must not have died such an ordinary and depressing death, but that something marvelous must have happened to her. And so, in their search for an answer as to what happened to Mary, they concluded she must have been ascended into Heaven to rule alongside her son. I have to say I like the notion of this idea, but I’d like to know where the proof is. It’s not enough for me that some priest a few hundred years after it supposedly happened wrote that that was what happened. He didn’t see it, so who did? How does he justify this answer? Apparently it’s supposed to be enough just that he said it, and so we just have to take him at his word, that’s the conclusion, case closed. I’m sorry, but it’s not enough for me.

I just feel as though everything is all mixed up. No two Christians ever seem to believe in the same thing. No one has any convincing answers. A lot of Christians act anything but Christian these days. It’s just all such a huge turn off for me, and something that I’ve increasingly wanted less and less to do with.

I could write more, but for now, I’ll leave it at this. I’m not feeling bad, really, or depressed, so please don’t anyone think that. I’m just frustrated because I’d like some answers and to be able to feel as though God actually is God.

On another note, I want to apologize for something else which I implied in a previous note a few months back, concerning friends. I think I was operating under the assumption that online friends weren’t as good as other types of friends. I’m sorry I ever thought that, and I’m sorry if I offended any of you for suggesting it. I’ve met some really great people online, and I’ve made some of the best, closest friendships I’ve ever had with some of you. You’re blessings from God, and that’s one thing I surely do not have doubts about. I thank God for each and every one of you.

The Trust of Mary and Joseph, and George Bailey

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord's servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. (Luke 1:26-38)

Could you imagine being in Mary's place? I'm sure she knew that allowing God to use her in order to bring about the savior of the whole human race would indeed lead her to experience many difficulties and hardships—and probably much ridicule. She had to be wondering what others would think of her. How would Joseph respond, knowing he was not the father? How would her family react? Would they believe her story, or would they believe she had had sex outside of wedlock? Would the rest of the people in her village believe her? And what about the future? All eyes would now be upon her son, and obviously on her, being the mother of the Savior. Mary had to have great trust in the Lord in order to willingly offer herself to Him in such a manner. Just think, she could have refused! She could have told the angel Gabriel, “I will not have this child. It would ruin me!” But Mary did no such thing. She simply agreed to let the Lord use her for His own purposes. That is exceptional trust and faith on her part in the Lord. This showed her love for God, over a love for herself. She would have this child, she would name him Jesus, and she would raise him and love him with all of her heart. She did as the Lord had asked of her.

And now we come to Joseph.

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” -- which means, “God with us.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. (Matthew 1:18-25)

I think Joseph was truly a man of great character. When he found out that Mary was pregnant, knowing the child within her was not his own, he could have easily thrown a huge tantrum, brought Mary before the city elders, and brought her to total disgrace, if not death. But Joseph was a good and caring man, and even though he was assuredly hurt and disappointed by the news of her pregnancy, he had decided to divorce her quietly in order to spare her from any disgrace. I have no doubt in my mind that Joseph was a very good man indeed, and that he did genuinely care about others.

After an angel of the Lord (who quite possibly could have been the same angel, Gabriel, who visited Mary) came to Joseph and explained the situation to him in a dream, Joseph decided to place his trust in the Lord. He took Mary home as his wife, refrained from having sexual intercourse with her until after the baby had been born, and called that baby Jesus. He did as God had asked of him.

No doubt, Joseph knew he was going to be taking on a huge responsibility. And I'm sure he questioned what other's would think, just as Mary, but he did not let that stop him from doing what the Lord wanted him to do. He placed his trust in the Lord and followed through with the plans, which God had made for him. Like Mary, he showed great love for God by submitting himself to God this way. He would take Mary as his wife, raise Jesus as his son, train him, teach him, and love him. And he honored God by doing so.

I have great respect for Mary and Joseph. I find comfort in their ability to trust God. I find comfort in knowing that they trusted God with such a difficult responsibility, and that God led them and took care of them throughout. Their trust paid off in such a marvelous way. Just think about it. Mary could have refused to give birth to God's son. Joseph could have refused to marry Mary. Both could have altered God's plans for their lives in such a drastic way. But instead, they trusted God, and allowed Him to use them in a way that would bring about a great good for all of mankind.

I keep trying to build my trust in God. Here at Christmas, as I read passages such as the ones above, involving Jesus' birth, seeing how Mary and Joseph trusted God in this situation, I can't help but feel a greater desire to do the same in my own life. I want to trust God. In my past, it hasn't always been easy for me to do that. But I know if I can only learn to trust God, he will use my life for great good. And if I can be used for any good in advancing His plans, I think that's a great thing. I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to give my whole life for whatever plans he has for me.

One of my favorite movies is called “It's A Wonderful Life”, and one of the things I have always loved about that movie is the way the character George Bailey always thought more of others than of himself. He had to make some rather huge sacrifices in his own life in order to do that, and that would cause him to despair throughout much of his life. But in the end, he discovers all those sacrifices throughout the years were well worth the price. God used his life in order to touch so many other lives around him. He used George Bailey in order to bring about a great good, which, without him, would never have taken place. Had he never lived, as he is given the opportunity to see, the people he had helped and loved in his life would have lived far different lives. They would have experienced much harder lives.

What George realizes is that his life has purpose. His life had great meaning. And though he may have little on this earth in terms of material or comfort, he had an abundance in friendship and love. But he also had favor with God. And it was God's will for him to continue living. Once he is revealed how much good he can bring about in this world, he breaks down and desperately begs God, “I wanna live again! Please God! Let me live again!” A man who was at the brink of wanting to give up on life, realizes just how great a life he really had, and how valuable he was to God and others in this life. He would go on living, trusting God. And I love that.

There again, at Christmas time, we get to see how trusting God is worth it in the end. My hope is that for all those reading this, you will trust God as well. Reach out to God and let him take full control over your lives, and see if miracles don't start happening. Allow God to use you to better this world, and to bring about great things indeed.

God bless, and Merry Christmas.