Friday, October 19, 2012


A few months ago, I decided to check out a few dating websites. To suggest that I felt somewhat sleazy doing so would be an understatement.

I’ve never really liked dating sites. It’s not that I disapprove of them, or that I don’t like the people I see on them, or that I judge others who use them; I just don’t like the idea of finding a potential romantic interest in that sort of way. I don’t like the way these sites allow you to look for a potential romantic partner in a way that’s comparable to reviewing a person’s resume for a job position.

I know they allow you to get right to the chase. You can see who appeals to you physically, who has similar likes and interests, and in some cases get a feel for the person’s personality and hang-ups as well. The lazy in me sees this as a good thing, but I can’t help thinking at the same time that the fun has been completely taken out of the equation. By fun, I mean that moment by which you first encounter someone and you begin to get to know them gradually as a person. At the same time, I wonder how many people could find their true love, not by accepting the ones who look acceptable only, but by going after those who seem to be completely incompatible, or the opposite, of them. How many people using a dating site have completely brushed aside someone who could have been the love of their life simply because that person’s profile didn’t meet their qualifications?

But the reason I felt sleazy looking at those dating sites was because I literally found myself going through profile after profile, scrutinizing every last thing about each person I found to be “potentials”. I didn’t like doing this. It did make me feel sleazy. It made me feel lazy, closed-minded, shallow, and judgmental. It just wasn’t the way I want to find the person I’m supposed to be with. I’d much rather run into someone on my own, meet them someplace, or be introduced to them by someone else—one of the more traditional (or old school) ways of finding someone. There again, I know the old school way just isn’t used that much by a lot of others nowadays, and being gay, especially in a very conservative leaning, rural area, just makes the chances of meeting someone that way slim to none.

What do you think?

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