Monday, November 25, 2013

If I Were the Devil

I don't know much about Paul Harvey, but I heard this clip played awhile back on FOX news.  At the time, I thought about how true this warning was.  I thought Mr. Harvey must be reflecting upon our times.  What I did not know, however, was that this was something he actually preached on many decades ago before a lot of these things became true.

Isn't it funny (and sad) how people are warned over and over again, and how if they would have just heeded those warnings, they'd have been better off?  I'll admit, I fear for our nation.  I think we have a president right now who is so ideologically driven, so nearsighted, and so partisan that we are in for some real trouble.  Obamacare alone should be proof enough of that.  But we have leaders all throughout our country that do not have our best interests at heart.  We have ourselves to blame, too.  We do not pay attention to what is going on.  We take the quick, most convenient, most pleasurable, and least expensive ways out of everything we do.  We choose our leaders out of popularity rather than content or substance, or ability.  We try so hard to be politically correct that we end up running from the truth and embracing lies and injustice just to save face.  We ignore God.  We allow minorities to dictate what religious freedoms we should and should not have.  We...

You know what... WE have allowed the devil to enter our lives, to enter our country and rape his way through it like the wild beast he is.  WE have allowed our education to get worse.  WE have allowed the media to lie to us, fill our minds full of garbage, and get away with it, with trillions in their pockets.  WE have allowed our young to grow up parentless, on their own, and without discipline or care.  WE have allowed our leaders to be as corrupt as they are.  WE have allowed all of it.

WE have turned our backs on what is right.  And if I were the devil, it's people like us I would target first.

It's sad that our nation hasn't embraced and learned from Mr. Harvey's warnings.  We've already gone so far down that road he predicted we'd wind up on.  But my hope is that it's not too late for us to turn back.  I hope we will.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Damaged Goods

I can’t sleep…

I’ve felt really down the last couple of days. I have these spells. I’ll feel on top of the world and the next thing I know I feel like everything in the world’s crashing down around me. I know I suffer from depression. This has been a problem for me for a long time now. Why in the world I haven’t gotten help for this already is beyond me. Maybe it’s too much pride to admit it face to face to anyone, or maybe… well, no, I’d say that’s exactly it: too much pride.

I always miss people…

I’ve missed my grandma terribly lately. She passed away about this time two years ago, right around Thanksgiving. That was such a horrible time. Maybe it’s just the fact that Thanksgiving is coming up, or maybe it’s just that my mind has been flooded of thoughts or reminders of her lately, but I’m missing her so much it hurts.

I miss several old friends as well: people I used to go to school with, people I used to work with, people I used to go to church with, and kids I used to teach.

I don’t feel good.

I have so many insecurities it isn’t even funny. My self-confidence is virtually nonexistent, and I’m so full of doubts it’s driving me crazy.

I wish I’d done so many things different in my life. I wish I’d told so many of those assholes who made fun of me in middle school and high school to go fuck themselves and had just done what I wanted, not caring about what they thought of me. I wish I’d flirted back to some of the guys who actually showed an interest in me. I wish I’d not let some of the people from church drive me away from it. I wish I’d tried harder to make friends earlier on…

Damn it!

I hate feeling this way…

I feel tired all the time. I feel weak. And I never seem to have enough time in the day. I have all these dreams and goals and wants, and they seem to never materialize. Or, if they do, it’s just so little by little that it’s frustrating to say the least. It leaves me feeling fairly hopeless at times…

I’ve felt pretty bad about being gay lately, too. This, like depression, seems to come and go at random and without any real cause that I can pinpoint… no, that’s not quite true either, at least not this time. I know what triggered it. I subbed for a few sixth grade classes lately and in a couple of those classes I had to listen to some students talking trash about homosexuals. “That’s gross! That’s weird! They’re going to hell! God hates gays! That person’s gay because of that, and this one because of this.” I hear this from students I like, and it cuts me to the quick. I tell them not to talk that way, but that’s about all I can do to stop them. Afterward, I always feel bad. I always wonder what they’d think of me if they knew I was gay. I always wonder if they’d turn from liking me to hating me. And then I fear that if anyone did know, I’d just wind up losing my job. After all, no one wants a fag teaching their kids.

I don’t even think I’ll post this. If I do, I guess it’ll just be to maybe get a few extra prayers, I don’t know. Maybe in some way it can help someone else who suffers this late night insomnia depression to know they aren’t alone.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

What Straight Christians Think About Gays

Hi!  My name is Brandon, and I approve of the above message.

Sorry, I've been following politics too much lately.  :)

For a long time now, I've been saying that our definitions do not completely gel.  When homosexuals speak, Christians hear something completely different far too much of the time.  The same is true for when Christians speak as well; homosexuals hear something different than what is meant.

I think this poll/video demonstrates so clearly how we have a major breakdown in communication right now among the Church and homosexuals.  So many Christians really do care about homosexuals, but the vast majority of homosexuals do not believe that.  And, the big cause, really, is due to how we interpret and understand each other--far too often, incorrectly.

I hope there are those on both sides of the divide who can and will watch this and take away something very meaningful from it.  Hopefully it'll help us to understand each other far better, and to change some of the approaches in how we interact with and think about each other.