Monday, June 4, 2007

Abstinent, and Glad About It

We somehow got into a discussion on sex today at work, and two of my workers told me they were virgins, and that they both believed sex outside of marriage was wrong. Both of them are a few years younger than me, and they go to the same church, along with a few of the other guys I work with. I honestly felt really good hearing them say they wanted to be abstinent, and that they were taught about abstinence at church and from their parents. It was good to hear that they wanted to obey God in this regard and to do the right thing. I respect them greatly for their decision. They weren't embarrassed by the fact that they were virgins. They were glad that they were! And I felt glad for them. Resisting the urge to act out on sexual desires can be a very hard thing to do. Especially since we are bombarded everywhere we look these days by sexual images and temptations.

As for myself, I gave in when I was between twelve and fourteen, and on many occasions. I wish like crazy I hadn't though. I'm not proud of the fact that I've had sex. It's nothing at all for me to brag about (as so many guys feel the urge to do). I honestly wish I could still say I was a virgin, but I'm not, and with the grace of God I hope I'm forgiven for what acting out I did do. I ended up telling them that when they asked me if I'd ever had sex (they know I'm a Christian, and I suspect they thought I'd never given in, considering I've never been married). I didn't tell them it had been with another guy, but I did admit that I'd had sex, and that I felt bad about it. I do feel bad about it. I went on to tell them that I thought they were doing the right thing by obeying God, and by not giving into to their sexual desires. I encouraged them to try as hard as they could to resist giving in, because it's a decision they'll never regret, unlike the other way around. I pray they'll be able to resist.

I wondered for a few minutes after our talk as to whether or not I'd done the right thing by telling them vaguely about my own, eh, indiscretions. Then I realized, maybe I gave them some encouragement by what I told them. Being a Christian, and one that's somewhat older than them, maybe I was able to influence them to do the right thing. I don't know, but that's my hope. I hope I was able to influence them for the better. And in a way, I was influenced by them. It was good to actually hear that they'd rather please God, rather than themselves. It was good to hear straight guys actually saying that having sex wasn't all that important to them--they could live without it. I was moved by their faith and their determination to obey God in this regard.

God, please help me to always be a positive influence on those around me, and please always help me to resist any temptations that come my way. Thank you for today, Lord.


Beast said...

I'm very glad and proud of you Brandon!
Keep it up!

MR said...

It is good to tell others about your bad stuff as well as the positive side. When God works to change you they will see what God did and maybe turn to Him in their time of need.

One of my best friends, who is very straight, had a serious struggle with alcohol/drug abuse. When I told him about my own struggles with same-sex attraction he said it helped him fight his addiction to hear how God helped me.

Brandon said...

Thanks for the comments, guys.

MR, my hope is just what you described. I hope those guys will always turn to God no matter what the circumstances.

God bless you all :)

Justin said...

and its encouraging for your blog readers. honestly, even as a Christian I find myself thinking sex is the answer. I need all the reminders like this post that it is not. Thanks :)