Lonely, Restless Night

Well, it's almost three in the morning, and I have absolutely no desire to sleep. I've had a good day, as days go. I was actually very much so full of energy earlier, and quite happy. I felt good. But now, I just feel lonely. I've been reading through several other blogs and that's made me wish so much that I could know some of you better than I do. I wish we could all just live next to each other and be friends and hang out and encourage each other and help each other in our lives. I wish the only people who ever seem to understand me didn't always have to be people who live so very far away from me. I'd love to sample a great old bottle of wine with Rik. Or go to the beach or a hockey game with Jay. Or sit and listen to Beast talk about growing up in Vietnam. Or tour the city of Seattle with MR. Or go to one of Pomo's football games. But all of you are where you are, and I seem to be where I am, and I suppose that's not going to change. We're limited in what friendship we can have. But at least I do have a friendship with several of you, and I'm grateful for that--even if it is in this limited capacity. And I'm grateful for the Internet, because without it, I don't suppose I'd ever have known any of you. So, I'm grateful in one sense, but I'm frustrated in another. I just wish I could make more closer friendships. The personal face to face kind so that I wouldn't always have to feel so lonely. I wish I felt like I could open up more and just be myself around people closer to me, and to not always fear what they'll think of me. I keep myself lonely, I suppose. But then, I don't feel like I can be open and be myself around other people most of the time. I don't feel safe to do that. But I'm tired of being lonely...

I think I'll try to sleep now.