For about as long back as I can recall I’ve had trouble making friends. I meet someone I like, I spend time with them, I try to get to know them, maybe we hang out or do something for a while, and then nothing. All communication stops. Or, there’s also the occasions when I’m trying to become friends with someone and they won’t give me the time of day. Then there are those who I’ve thought were close friends that turned out not to be. After a lifetime of what I’d define as poor friendships, I seriously wonder what the problem is. Is there something about me that people just don’t like, am I going about things all wrong, or is it just the sort of people I end up being around? Or is it a combination of the three? I don’t know. I don’t understand it. But I know I just get so tired of trying and not seeing any results. (I think I should add that I do have several internet friends. What I'm talking about here are close, personal friends--the type you can see face to face and actually do things with in person).
I’ve heard of other people who struggle with a similar problem, particularly SSA men trying to form healthy friendships with straight men. I know I have trouble trusting people sometimes and loosening up. Maybe that’s what I need to work on. Maybe I’m too stiff for most people.
I guess the point of this post is that I’d like to hear from all of you that read my blog how you go about making friends. How do you define friendship? What makes you want to be friends with certain people? What makes you not want to be friends with certain people? How do you keep friendships together? What challenges have you faced in some of your friendships? I really am quite curious about all this.