Monday, July 6, 2009

Fell in Love with a Boy (or: I Want to Run)

I want to run
I want to run away from my life
And begin my life anew

I want to love the man I love
And to know he loves me too

I want to know I belong
And to know that there is a real purpose to my living

I want to make friends
I want people to like me
People I can share my life with

I want my family to get along
I want to enjoy my family

I want to run
I want to run

I feel myself falling away
I am—somebody I seem to know less and less about every day
I don’t understand

I want something else
I just want to run
I want to love the man I fell in love with
I want to run to him
I want to run

4 comments:

jennypo said...

Healer heal me
Savior save me
Maker change me
Lover love me
Cuz I'm so tired of living for
The kind of love
That only lasts for a while
The pain, the shame
Tear me up inside

So I fall on my knees
To get back on my feet again
And I cry out for You
Would You please speak to me

Healer heal me
Savior save me
Maker change me
Lover love me
Cuz I'm so tired of living for
The kind of love
That only comes and goes
But Your love
Your love lasts forever

So I fall on my knees
To get back on my feet again
And I cry out for You
To hear you speak to me
Yes I fall on my knees
To get back on my feet again
And I run hard for You
To enter Your rest

Healer- by Ten Shekel Shirt

Brandon, I guess most of us humans know what it is to want what we know isn't going to satisfy us. It may be that there are only a few of us who know what it is to want and not get something that is as natural as the personal love of another human being, but please remember that God never withholds what is GOOD. We know that his Enemy and ours is out to convince us that we can be satisfied with a human relationship. The kind of love you are reaching for exists, in gay relationships just the same as straight ones - but it's not the kind of love that will satisfy you or me, and that is the real point.

Jesus is a human and he knows what it is like to want what humans want. Let him satisfy that gaping hole in your heart. I can say from experience that he can and he will. I know how much it costs, but he is worth it.

It's not easy, but we aren't here for the easy. Only real Love is enough to make this life worthwhile. Accept no substitutes!

Praying for you.

seithman said...

This is a beautiful poem.

-- Jarred.

Sweeney said...

I know exactly how you feel Brandon and I think "jennypo" hit the nail right on the head. It is so tempting to want to find comfort in another man in an innaproperate way, but your relationship with God should be your main focus. He will answer all you needs. An also, remember, we are only on this earth for a few years, but we are going to be with God in heaven for eternity: just ask yourself, which relationship is worth putting effort into.

Brandon said...

Jennypo and Sweeney,

I want to thank you both so very much for what you said--for reminding me. Sometimes I just really need to hear those things.

Funny, this poem became something else to me when I substituted the man I fell in love with for Jesus. I think it's better that way.