Friday, September 4, 2009

Walking With God

I once went walking along a sandy beach shore, with God standing by my side. I looked at him periodically, and down upon the sand and out at the ocean, turning to look ahead as we continued to walk forward. But I wasn’t really walking; it was more of a float, as if being pulled along. All I could hear was the roar of the ocean as the wind swept past us. The sky was grayed with clouds and the air was cool and damp.

I turned to look at the older, wiser man beside me. His gaze was always steady, always looking forward. I looked ahead, up the beach, at the horizon—the sun setting just behind a distant dune that seemed forever away.

Suddenly, he stopped. He said nothing, but continued looking forward. Then he glimpsed out at the ocean. He looked back to me with a smile upon his face—the smile reassuring and warm. Then he turned to look ahead at the horizon once again, but did not move.

Slowly, I moved nearer to him. I put my arms around his right and held onto him, pressing the rest of my body to him. I couldn’t face him though. I couldn’t look up. I couldn’t move or think or say or do anything. Finally, I felt his other hand close round upon mine, embracing my hold upon him. I looked up at last, fearful, ashamed, guilty and crying, tears rolling down my face. He looked down at me and smiled, nodding finally and then looking once more to the horizon. I looked at the setting sun too and, together, with his leading, we began to move forward once more. Each step I took was made possible only by him.

* * *

As you probably noticed, it’s been a while since my last post. I just haven’t really felt like writing anything much lately. I just wanted to take a moment though to say thank you to a few people. I don’t want to name names because… well, I’m not sure it would be altogether appropriate, but you’ll know who you are. Since my last post I’ve received many encouraging and uplifting emails from some of you. One of you actually offered to fly me out to visit you so that we could go on a church trip together. This offer coming from a friend that I trust, it was something that nevertheless surprised me—just that someone would be willing to do something so nice for me like that. Another of you has written back and forth to me several times. You have been there for me in some lonely moments, whether I admitted that to you or not at the time. You told me I was loved, and a blessing. You remind me there are good people out there who truly do care about me. You have each reminded me of that. And I thank you.

Some of the things I mentioned in my last post still have not yet been resolved. But I know God is still working in my life, and I think I can say I have a bit more hope now than I did.

I’m not alone.

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