One Christian gay guy’s thoughts and experiences along this whirlwind journey called life.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
A Light in a Very Dark Place
Hello, everyone. I hope you had a good Christmas. I can’t say it was the best of Christmases, but it probably wasn’t the worst either. It was different though. To be honest, I did feel depressed throughout most of the holiday. I’ve been fairly depressed for the whole last month now. The reason is that my grandma passed away the day after Thanksgiving, and I’ve been missing her terribly.
Every day I have some memory or thought of her pop into my mind. I find myself wishing I could talk to her one last time, or have one last cup of coffee with her, or spend one last family get-together with her, or take one last drive out in the country, or play one last game of rook, or be a kid again to spend the night with her one last time, or even just to hear her voice and see her smile again. I just wish she was still here so badly that it’s killing me inside.
So, that’s sort of where I’m at right now. I’m not doing too well. But I am trying to pull through and remember that death is not the end of one’s life, and that God still has plans to give me hope and a future. In the meantime, please pray for me and my family. I think we could all use a little extra praying for right now, and would great appreciate that.
Again, I hope all of you had a good Christmas. And in case I don’t get time to write again before the New Year, that you each have a good start to the New Year as well.
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2 comments:
My condolences on the loss of your grandma.
My former pastor used to say at funerals that although the scripture says there is a time to die, for us it never seems that there is a right time for our loved ones to die. There is always more we would like to share with them.
That is what you are experiencing right now, but our faith tells us that our life continues beyond bodily death and culminates in bodily resurrection. So the parting from your grandma isn't farewell forever, but bye for now. This does not remove the sorrow that she is no longer physically present, but hopefully it is helping you put the sorrow in perspective.
And it is perfectly normal for the first Christmas without one you loved to be difficult.
So hang in there, Brandon. Let yourself grieve your loss all you want, but with hope in the Lord that your grandma was saved and you will see her again. And may the Lord console you and your family.
Thank you, N. You are a great comfort. Please just keep me in your prayers.
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