Mindsets

To say I was feeling low last Wednesday would be a severe understatement. That last post reflects a lot of my thoughts lately: I’m alone, my family doesn’t want me around, I can’t make friends, I’m tired of fighting, I don’t have but a thread of strength left in me, I have trouble trusting, my faith is shaken, I don’t understand what God’s trying to teach me, I want a boyfriend… the list just seems to go on and on.

I’m sorry if I freaked anyone out. I have just felt so completely conflicted about so many things lately. And even though there are things I know I can look forward to, I just can’t seem to build up any sort of optimism within me for any of those things at the moment.

I know I’ve just not been in the best frame of mind lately. I know I need to figure certain things out for myself, and it’s just not happening. I keep trying, wanting, praying, and seeking for life to get better. I’m trying all I can to keep hope that it will, but my strength and resolve and trust just haven’t really been there like I know it should be.

Thanks to everyone who’s tried to cheer me up or encourage me. I really appreciate each of your prayers and concern. Maybe next time I can write about something a little better.

Another Sad Day

I’ve went through several sad days lately…

I’ll be honest, I really don’t even feel like writing this. I just feel like letting it all be over. I’m so tired of feeling sad all the time. I lose everything. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. And what little there is, what the hell difference does it make? What good am I to anyone? I really don’t think anyone in my life right now wants me at all. My parents don’t, my brother doesn’t, my nephews don’t. Friends? What friends? Who the fuck do I ever hang out with? Whoever wanted to?

I’m sorry. It’s just been an incredibly horrible last few years. And I just feel so completely alone and lost right now.

Lipton's Questions

1. What is your favorite word?
Serene

2. What is your least favorite word?
Hate

3. What turns you on?
Humor, history, teaching, and... men with their shirts off.

4. What turns you off?
People who are closed-minded, arrogant, selfish, or impatient.

5. What sound do you love?
Two: my nephews laughing, and the gentle rumbling of thunder off in the distance.

6. What sound do you hate?
Alarm clocks

7. What is your favorite curse word?
My favorite is “hell,” though I know I say “f**k” much more often.

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Architect

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Mechanic

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
“I told you I’d save a place for you.”

False Witness

Stories like this one really infuriate me.

So, an 11 year old girl gets pissed off with her dad. She accuses him of rape. The dad gets sentenced to more than 15 years in prison. Then, after 9 years in prison, the girl, a 23 year old at this point, recants her testimony and admits that she made the whole thing up. Absolutely pathetic! And as if it wasn't bad enough that this guy had to lose 9 years of his life because his daughter was a messed up brat, local prosecutors don't want to press charges against the girl for fear it will discourage individuals in similar circumstances from stepping forward. Similar circumstances? By that, do they mean other girls who have lied about such things? This girl ought to at least be changed with obstruction of justice, not to mention perjury. It all just goes to show how screwed up our legal system is sometimes.