Domino Effect

After the recent Supreme Court rulings concerning gay marriage, you can rest assured that gay marriage is coming to the whole land and that equal protection under the law will ensue. I think this is a really good thing, a wrong that has finally been righted, and I rejoice because of it.

I don’t think it really matters what I think, or what anyone else thinks, when it comes to the individual life choices of each person. Each person must live and die according to his or her own beliefs, and in this country, we have traditionally allowed for such a thing in most regards. However, we have tended to reach a bit too far into the bedroom, when really we should simply mind our own business and allow people the freedom to live as they choose—so long as they aren’t hurting others in the process.

From a legal perspective, I see nothing wrong whatsoever with allowing gay couples the right to marry. And I say this because, legally speaking, marriage is not defined by the same standards as Christian (or any other religious) marriage. We do allow secular marriages each and every day in this country. A man can fly to Vegas overnight, get drunk, marry the first hooker that walks by him, and be divorced the following afternoon. Was it right? No, but we have allowed that sort of thing for decades now.

We have allowed secular marriages to take place. We have allowed people to marry and divorce upon their whims, and haven’t gotten in the way. We have done this for heterosexual couples. However, when it comes to homosexual couples, we as a society, for the most part, have not legally recognized their unions. We have not permitted them to marry. We have not allowed them the freedom to decide upon what sort of unions they enter into, and have not granted them the same rights as we have heterosexual couples. My question is why? If a gay couple wants to be married is this really so wrong (outside of a religious context)? Keep in mind that marriage, as it has already been defined on the books in most of this country, is not singularly allowed with only religious implications in mind; we do have secular marriages and have for pretty much our entire existence. This being the case, why not allow the marriage of homosexual couples? Why not grant them the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples? By not allowing these things, you are legally discriminating. You are purposefully acknowledging that one union is not as good as another, and this forces those who may disagree with you to live by your personal beliefs, rather than their own. And what gives anyone the right to force their beliefs on such a matter onto others?

Whether I agree with gay marriage or not, I do not think I have any right to force my beliefs onto others. I don’t have a right to prevent people from marrying, nor do I have a right to force anyone to marry.

I keep in mind the golden rule when thinking about this: “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” I would not want anyone telling me I could not marry the person I love, or that I could not get the same sort of benefits as other married couples just because they don’t like my choice of partners. So, I will not tell anyone else they cannot marry the person they love, or cannot have the same benefits granted to everybody else. Instead, I will allow them the freedom to make their own choices, and grant them the same privileges as everybody else.

In doing so, it doesn’t mean that I am going against the church, or turning my back on traditional marriage, or anything like that. It just means that I think it is right to allow others to make up their own minds and to live according to their own beliefs, without me shoving my own beliefs down their throats and forcing them to live in a way that isn’t right for them.

Political Ramblings

I have to say there has been a lot going on lately. I haven't written about it yet--though I've certainly wished to (I've just been too distracted)--but I want to say a few words about the decision recently made by congress to repeal the military's policy of "Don't ask, don't tell", which banned homosexuals from openly serving in the military. I say now, it was about freaking time this was done. For a long time I have believed this ban to be one of the last great means of discrimination in the workforce. I know and understand some of the arguments people have had in favor of the ban. Some straight troops just do not want to shower and dress and sleep in the same places as gay ones. I can understand this. The problem, however, is that this was and is already happening--the straight troops just didn't know it. Perhaps people are just happier not knowing about the truths around them. But, I fail to see where this objection is sufficient to discriminate against gays. Implement a policy of respectfulness and, maybe, even a schedule of bathroom times (because in all honesty, I can understand straight guys not wanting gay guys to see them naked. As a gay man, it would make me somewhat uncomfortable as well on certain levels). Anyway, that's my thoughts on the subject. I just feel it was about time our government did this. It should have happened years ago. And I commend the democratic congress and President Obama for seeing this through (finally).

Something else I want to mention is the situation going on in Egypt. I won't take a side on the matter, because it's simply not my country and I don't know all of the issues going on. However, I do hope the level of violence seen in that country in the last few days will subside and whoever wins the conflict, a greater level of peace, prosperity, and freedom will come to the people there. And not only in Egypt, but for the people facing similar troubles in Yemen, Jordan, Syria, and other countries in the region as well. And now, to say something that I'm sure a great many will hate me for saying, this was something George W. Bush predicted would happen. Once people get a taste for freedom, freedom will spread like wildfire. To me, it looks like what Bush was saying all those years has actually started to take place. Maybe he knew a bit about what he was talking about after all.

Now I leave you with this incredibly great song by the Newsboys titled Born Again. Enjoy!

Freedom!

A friend of mine recently told me he suspected most guys who struggle with same-sex attractions tend to become workaholics and perfectionists. I can vouch for that on my own part. I tend to get into ruts of working myself nearly to death. And then, whatever I do, it always has to be perfected to the point where it never ends. Like my first book, I spent about three years simply editing the thing. Seems like I've been following the same footsteps with my second one. Point to telling this is that that's why I haven't posted for a little while. I've been too busy. In fact, I haven't had time for much, if anything. And I've been exhausted.

One thing I have made the time for is this course called Door of Hope, which I'm taking through Setting Captives Free. I got the idea from Beast. Right now, I'm on day fourteen (out of sixty). So far, I can say that this course has definitely opened my eyes to a few things. I realize I've had a few wrong attitudes and I've not been trying enough to resist certain things I know I should be trying to resist. This course has been showing me where I've been on the right track, and where I've been on the wrong track. I'm getting the kind of help I've been searhing for. It's Godly help. Each days lesson comes directly from the Bible, and speaks so much truth. I also have a mentor who has been more than helpful. He's been nothing short of a Godsend. He's been a great encouragement for me.

One thing that has been bothering me is my lack of restraint. I had hoped to make it through the entire course without giving in to any sexual sins. I made it up until last Wednesday and then I gave in. I'll be blunt and admit that I gave in to lustful thoughts and masturbation. I woke up exhausted, lonely, frustrated about a few things, and the next thing I knew I was masturbating, filling my mind full of all sorts of thoughts I never should have had. I felt terrible. Thing is, I've given in twice since then, and I've been struggling to resist this sort of thing ever since.

I wish I could be free of all this. I know that the devil never stops tempting, but I just really do wish I could figure out some sure fire way of being able to resist. It seems as though I've tried everything, but nothing's worked. At least, no single thing works all the time. The course I'm taking actually has been helping me. I've found that accountability really is something I've been needing. I've needed someone to help me more directly. I just wish I was stronger. I don't know whether this Setting Captives Free course will work or not, but I sure hope that it will. I feel like it will. There's God in it, and I feel like He's pushing me to press on. I'm pressing on in search of that awe-inspiring freedom that only Christ can deliver. Only through Him can have true freedom.