Monday, July 30, 2012


A friend once told me that people in Mexico sometimes call gay people “butterflies”. I remember thinking Elton John’s lyrics about butterflies in “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” (look it up if you’ve never heard it) made since in that moment. But I also thought it was by far the least offensive term I’d ever heard given for gay people. To be honest, I actually kind of liked it.

In a world where so many of us are so often called fag, faggot, queer, dyke, homo, pussy, lezbo, fudge packer, poof, and fairy (among many others), I have to say I dislike butterfly perhaps less than any of the others.

I’ve actually gotten to like a lot of the names given to gay people. I don’t mind at all being called a poof. And since fairies tend to be rather pretty mythical creatures, I don’t mind that one so much anymore either.

It amazes me actually how the older I get, the less being called such names bothers me. I think it is because I know that the only people who would call me names are those who are immature, or not worth being around. I don’t care about those people enough to let what they say or do bother me. It’s not something worth doing.

This might be different if it was a person I did know and like, but those people who I feel that way about, even if they don’t necessarily feel that way about me, will usually show enough respect not to call me names or put me down like that.

I suppose this is sort of like when people say they are taking back something. I still don’t like being called a queer, and it amazes me when I hear other gay people call themselves that in a non-belittling way, but wearing it almost as if it were a badge of honor. And I have to admit that I do have some respect for them in that they don’t seem bothered by that name. It’s the same with fag. I was called that a bunch in high school, and I hated it and the people who called me that with a passion. But yet I see other gay guys call themselves that as if it’s nothing. I think this demonstrates a great deal of self respect and confidence.

I suppose the purpose is to sort of stand your ground and not let such things bother you; and to show that. Really, this is just a form of fighting bullying. Most people who call names or pick on you just do it to get a rise out of you. They like that it bothers you. But, if you don’t let such things bother you, then the names usually stop. And even if they don’t stop, you eventually become immune to them because of your greater level of maturity. Those names eventually don’t mean anything to you; they’re just words.

The way I see it, calling people names says more about you, than it does the person or people you’re attributing them to.

Just some random revelations to think about.

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