Gay in Russia

Apparently, Russia has decided to get tough on homosexuals, passing laws and regulations designed to harass, discriminate, and essentially keep homosexuals in the closet and on the fringe of society.

I thought the world—especially countries that claim to be developed and civilized at this point, like Russia—had moved beyond some of this crap. I guess not.

So, I came across the following video the other day. It shows a fifteen year old gay teen boy being lured into entrapment by a group of people who claim to want to help him, but who obviously only really want to embarrass, harass, and torment him. Watch it for yourself. Then read my thoughts on it.



Okay, so first off, I think the people who tricked this kid are monsters. Even though they claimed to want to help him, they certainly seemed bent on wanting to belittle and harass him more than anything else—they wouldn’t let him leave, they got right in his face, they threatened him with violence and were somewhat violent, and they told him they were going to tell everyone at his school and on Facebook what he’d done. In my opinion, these people were nothing more than violent and heartless—as I already said: monsters.

As for the kid, I think he was most likely gay, even though he claimed not to be. I mean, if I was ambushed in such a way I’d probably claim not to be gay as well. I do think it was a bad idea for him to try meeting up with a stranger for paid sex. Although, in a culture that treats homosexuals with such contempt, this may have been the only way this young kid believed he could actually meet up with other gay people. So, I can, without excusing his behavior, at the very least have an honest understanding about it. There again, maybe he just really needed the money. Regardless of his reasons for being there, he did not deserve to be treated the way he was. He was just fifteen years old. More than likely he really hadn’t been in such activities before or even really been involved in any capacity with other guys before. His parents and friends didn’t know he was gay. He was scared. I mean, what part of what these other people did to him did they think was legitimately helping him? If anything, this particular experience will probably only cause him to have problems—emotional and otherwise.

I pray that he will be okay.

Human rights have never been anything strong in Russia. Throughout communist rule, in particular, there were many people abused on a systematic and frequent basis. The current president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, seems pretty determined on reverting back to the old ways, and his policies have achieved that in many regards. I wish the people of Russia would realize what harm they’re doing and would change some of their attitudes and laws.

I’ve had people mistreat me for being gay before. Most of those people didn’t even know for sure, but only perceived that I was gay. I’ve been called names and been threatened with violence.  I’ve had people completely turn away from me because they either knew or thought I was gay. It sucks to be treated like that. It sucks to be treated like a lesser person, of little or no value, simply because of something about me that I never asked for, didn’t want, and couldn’t change.

I don’t understand why people can’t just leave others alone. Why do they feel that they have to interfere in the lives of everybody else; condemning, belittling, and judging people as though they are somehow flawless themselves?

There are two things I think everyone should keep in mind. The first to the love their neighbors as themselves, and the second is to worry less about the speck in everyone else’s eyes while they have planks in their own. The world would certainly be a far better place if more people would adhere to these two things, or to at the very least attempt to live by them.

I am a gay man. Some people may not like that about me, some people may not want to accept that about me, some people may not want to hear it or know it at all, and may want to treat me like total crap because of it, but it is a part of who I am. It just is what it is, and it’s not anything that I, or anyone else, should be mistreated for. When people do act that way, I try not to let it get me down. I know in my heart that I am who I am, that I do have value and worth, and that even despite all my flaws, God does want and love me. No words or actions on the part of anyone else can ever take that away from me.

I hope and pray that the kid in this video can come to a similar understanding and won’t let what happened to him get him down.

Butterfly

A friend once told me that people in Mexico sometimes call gay people “butterflies”. I remember thinking Elton John’s lyrics about butterflies in “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” (look it up if you’ve never heard it) made since in that moment. But I also thought it was by far the least offensive term I’d ever heard given for gay people. To be honest, I actually kind of liked it.

In a world where so many of us are so often called fag, faggot, queer, dyke, homo, pussy, lezbo, fudge packer, poof, and fairy (among many others), I have to say I dislike butterfly perhaps less than any of the others.

I’ve actually gotten to like a lot of the names given to gay people. I don’t mind at all being called a poof. And since fairies tend to be rather pretty mythical creatures, I don’t mind that one so much anymore either.

It amazes me actually how the older I get, the less being called such names bothers me. I think it is because I know that the only people who would call me names are those who are immature, or not worth being around. I don’t care about those people enough to let what they say or do bother me. It’s not something worth doing.

This might be different if it was a person I did know and like, but those people who I feel that way about, even if they don’t necessarily feel that way about me, will usually show enough respect not to call me names or put me down like that.

I suppose this is sort of like when people say they are taking back something. I still don’t like being called a queer, and it amazes me when I hear other gay people call themselves that in a non-belittling way, but wearing it almost as if it were a badge of honor. And I have to admit that I do have some respect for them in that they don’t seem bothered by that name. It’s the same with fag. I was called that a bunch in high school, and I hated it and the people who called me that with a passion. But yet I see other gay guys call themselves that as if it’s nothing. I think this demonstrates a great deal of self respect and confidence.

I suppose the purpose is to sort of stand your ground and not let such things bother you; and to show that. Really, this is just a form of fighting bullying. Most people who call names or pick on you just do it to get a rise out of you. They like that it bothers you. But, if you don’t let such things bother you, then the names usually stop. And even if they don’t stop, you eventually become immune to them because of your greater level of maturity. Those names eventually don’t mean anything to you; they’re just words.

The way I see it, calling people names says more about you, than it does the person or people you’re attributing them to.

Just some random revelations to think about.

The Face of One Bullied

I saw this video a few minutes ago and thought it worth posting on my site. I really do feel for this young man. I feel sorrow and sadness, as well as compassion. As a teacher, it is my desire to help students like Jonah. No one deserves to be bullied. No one!

I pray Jonah and all those others like him will find some source of solace, and that they will have the strength to always keep marching forward, until the day they finally do reach that better place in life. And if you're one of those reading this now, I say to you, keep your chin up, know that there are people who do love and care about you (or will), and know that with time, things can and usually do get better. So, take hope in that. :)

Coming Out Young

I usually get monthly newsletters from Exodus International. In this month’s edition there was one article that caught my eye. It was called Middle School Youth More Open to Coming Out Sooner, Article Reports. This article was written in response to an article published in the New York Times this last September called Coming Out in Middle School. I hope you will take the time to read both articles.

The original article details how students in middle schools across this country are becoming more openly identified as homosexual. I found this to be a really interesting article and one that demonstrates how much more accepting and open-minded people are becoming toward those with a homosexual or bisexual orientation. I also found it comforting to read how much less fearful and ashamed young people are becoming about being gay. Fear and shame pretty much dominated most of my middle school and high school years, and even after then. I was terrified someone might find out or think I was gay. And because of this, I hid myself from a lot of people.

The second article (the one featured in the October edition of the Exodus Newsletter) I found to be a particularly troublesome response. I have often supported Exodus in the past. I had an Exodus counselor for almost three years who was in a lot of ways a real life-saver for me. Paul (my counselor) was only the second person to ever know I like other men. He helped me see that not all people will freak out and hate me if they find out I’m gay. He was the first straight person I’d ever known who acted as though homosexuals were not people to fear and hate and ridicule, but to love and befriend and speak the truth to. He encouraged me not to hide who I am, but to let other people know me for the real me, to develop friends with people, and to not live out the rest of my life in fear of what others might think. Paul helped me through some of the loneliest and depressed times of my life. Above anything, he was always willing just to listen to me. He allowed me to pour out all the hurt I’d felt but kept bottled up for so long. He taught me that I didn’t have to live in fear, or hide myself, or keep lifelong painful secrets, being ashamed to ever let anyone know the real me. And he taught me that God still loves me, regardless of my temptations or past mistakes. I’ll always owe him a huge debt of gratitude for all he did for me. I’m a better person now because of his help. And I have to thank Exodus for making that connection with Paul for me. But having said this, I do disagree with many of the standpoints of Exodus. This article points out one of the mindsets of so many who are affiliated with Exodus. And that is that young people are essentially not wise enough about themselves to be able to know if they are gay or straight.

I know middle school is a confusing, troubling time for many people; even when it comes to sexual identity/feelings. This isn’t only the case for homosexuals and bisexuals, but for heterosexuals as well. Most people become confused or curious or even anxious when they first start having feelings of a sexual nature for another person. And that is because they are new feelings. Of course a person will not fully understand them at first. But most people have little doubt about whom or what they’re attracted to. They may not understand why their attractions are as they are, but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily confused about whether they’re attracted to men or women, or both.

I remember when I was at middle school age I knew I liked boys. I knew (or thought anyway) that I was supposed to like girls though. I thought it was wrong for me to like guys, or to act on those feelings, or to ever tell anyone about it. I kept my true feelings a secret and, for a time, pretended to like what I thought everyone else expected me to like: girls. I even had a girlfriend for a while just to satisfy this thought. But I really was never confused about liking men. I was confused about how I’d developed these feelings, but never about the feelings themselves. I didn’t have to act out these feelings with another male to know that they were true. I didn’t have to act out sexually with a female to know that I wasn’t interested in that.

Many at Exodus want to believe that fewer people will become gay if they just won’t identify as gay at such a young age. Now, I do believe many people may experiment with their sexuality, and may engage in some activities that they shouldn’t. Some people, as odd as it may seem, even consider homosexuality or bisexuality cool. To be one or the other has become one of those added things to contribute to the individualistic mindset of the people of this country. Some people think that to be gay makes them unique from others, and so there are some, who are not gay, who are more than happy to act out as if they are. It can also be a point of rebellion. After all, it is not the hope or desire of most parents that their children should be gay. And so some young people, though I do think a very few of them, do maybe adopt a gay or bisexual identity when perhaps they are not. But for the vast majority, being gay or bisexual is their reality. And what is wrong with them being able to admit this to others? What is wrong with a young person admitting to themselves that they are gay or bisexual? If it’s how they feel, it’s how they feel. Whether or not it’s right or wrong for them to act on those feelings is somewhat beside the point. It’s relevant (the morality of acting out on homosexual feelings) but it shouldn’t factor in to whether or not a person identifies as having those feelings. As I already said, you either have those feelings or you don’t. If you do, why should you have to hide the fact your entire life? Why should you live in secret, covering up, not getting help, afraid to let anyone know how you feel or who you are? Why should you live in fear your whole life? For those who are homosexual or bisexual, choosing to identify as such should not be a point of contention.

Do we want our kids living in fear, to grow up afraid of who they are? One of the things I found interesting in the original article was that most of the young students interviewed for it were not even sexually active, unless you include kissing, holding hands, or dancing, or other things like that. They are simply being themselves, admitting that homosexuality or bisexuality is, in fact, a part of their lives. They’re being open and honest about who they are, and hoping for a little bit of understanding, compassion, and respect from others. And there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

On another point, I found it interesting how the level of bullying has gone down in schools where students felt safe to be openly gay or bisexual. Schools that allow students to create and join clubs such as Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) have seen a decline in the level of violence or harassment of not only homosexual and bisexual identified students, but of all students regardless of their background. Isn’t that a good thing? I think it is.

Now, I’m not promoting young people becoming sexually active. And I don’t think the vast majority are aspiring for that either. Nor am I promoting homosexuality (anymore than I’m promoting heterosexuality), or believe that students should be pressured into accepting or admitting their sexual orientation before they're ready to. I just think young people should be allowed to not have to live in fear of who they are and how they feel. I also think it is wrong of people to force others into shame and hiding, or to bully or belittle them for having feelings they did not choose to have. I wish many others would realize homosexuality is no more or less prevalent today than it’s ever been. Just because people are being more open and honest about it, doesn’t mean society is falling apart or becoming more sinful. It just means people are tired of living in fear, hiding who they are, and are deciding more and more not to live their lives afraid all the time. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with that.

Reflections on My Life: Part II

This last week I’ve gone walking a couple of times at the track behind my old middle school. I hadn’t been there in years. There were a few changes, but overall, it was still the same ole place I remembered.

As I was walking, a lot of memories came to mind. My middle school years were some of my favorite years of being in school. I had teachers I liked, classes and classmates I liked, plenty of friends, and the whole world ahead of me. I remember getting to read a lot. Every Friday in English class we got to read a book of our choosing for the entire class period. Our teacher would usually allow us to have snacks as well. I think it was during this time that I really developed a love for reading. It was the first time any teacher had just allowed me/us to read anything we wanted like that and to make something fun out of it. Come to think of it, I probably gained my love for reading in the sixth grade instead. We read a lot of good books in reading class that year. I remember having friends. I had more friends during those two years than at any other time in my life. I remember feeling confused about a lot of things, as I’m sure most kids do when they’re at that age. I remember I wasn’t gay. Okay, yeah, I was, but I didn’t really know it or understand it at the time—I just assumed I had some misplaced feelings that would eventually go away.

I remember the transition from middle school to high school was not a very good one for me. I had signed up for marching band my freshman year. The summer before school started I had to practice quite a lot with the others. I never enjoyed that. Band for me had always been about the music and having fun, not about marching and competition. To make matters worse, most of the friends I’d made in middle school band didn’t join that year, and the older students I was around made it abundantly clear that they didn’t like me. They never tried to reach out to me or befriend me. And anytime I tried I was put down or just outright ignored. They made fun of me. One of them in particular, I can’t number how many times he called me a faggot or queer and said he hated fags like me. I was miserable that year.

Looking back, I really wish things could have been different. I wish I’d done what some of my other friends from middle school did. I wish I’d taken a carpentry class or some other vocational class like they did. I wish I’d been able to make friends that year. I think, in hindsight, one or two people may have honestly tried to reach out to me. But when they did I couldn’t trust them. I was afraid of getting hurt. The rest of the time I was in high school, I was pretty much a shadow. I kept to myself and did everything I could to avoid others. Those few I was friends with never really knew me at all. They may have liked me, they allowed me to be around them, they invited me along on a few outings, but I know I never really let them know anything about me. They knew I was shy, quiet, calm, maybe even kindhearted, but that was all they knew. I wouldn’t let them know anything else.

I can see so clearly how much I changed when I started high school. But it’s when I was in middle school that I remember most fondly. I was more outgoing, happier, and definitely more positive about myself and life back then. I had friends, and I didn’t hide myself.

One thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is why I have so much trouble making friends these days. I honestly think the answer lies in how I changed when I began high school. Before my ninth grade year, I was just myself. I allowed people to know me. But when things didn’t go so well my freshman year, I think I just quit letting people know me, and I gave up trying to know them.

I’ve been reminded lately, or perhaps taught, that trying to be anything other than myself is foolish. And wrong. I believe God values each and every one of us, including the unique qualities or characteristics we each possess. When I entered high school I stopped being myself. When I was myself, I was made fun of, bullied, and made afraid. Out of fear and hurt, I withdrew. I began hiding myself from others, and became more cautious of how I acted around them.

Almost three years ago now, I contacted an Exodus Affiliate Ministry in Indianapolis, IN. A counselor, Paul, offered to help me there. We wrote emails back and forth to each other, and once I became comfortable with him we began talking over the phone. I’ll always owe Paul a huge debt of gratitude because he pushed me to be myself again, and to open up to others and try to make friends. He also was very compassionate and understanding. Paul is one of the few straight people I’ve ever known who was willing to at least try to understand the things I’ve went through and offer real meaningful help and encouragement. And I never felt like he was judging me.

The last three years I’ve tried to follow Paul’s advice. In a lot of ways, it’s helped me. Some of it’s only caused more problems—though I don’t really fault Paul for that—in a more perfect world life would be easier done than said. But, it’s sort of because of Paul’s influence on me that I’ve done some of the things I’ve done to make friends, that I got as involved at my church as I did, and that I began this blog. He helped me feel more comfortable being myself. All of it’s been in the attempt to become me again, and to allow others to know me—to fully know me, and for me to know them.

All of these thoughts came to mind while I was walking.

I think fear can lead people to do some really terrible things. The ones who bullied me did so out of their own fears and prejudices. The fear of their bullying and anyone else thinking the things about me that they did caused me to give up on myself and others.

I look back and I wish I’d done things differently. I wish I’d looked those people in the face and told them to shove off. I wish I’d not paid any attention to them or cared about what they thought. I wish I’d kept on being myself. I wish I’d kept on trying to make friends. I wish I’d felt comfortable enough about myself to just be myself and let everyone know how I felt—about everything. I think I might have been happier if I’d done that.

The last year or so, I have tried more to just loosen up around people. I realize not everyone is going to like me. I am who I am though. People will either like me or they won’t. If they don’t, I can get over it. But, if they do, that’s great, and something worth fighting for. This last year, I have felt more comfortable being myself. I’m not afraid of people knowing me like I used to be. I’m not afraid to come across feminine or gay around others—it’s just how I am. And I’m not afraid to face criticism, even when that criticism hurts, because I know there are others who do love me, who do care about me, and who do value me as a person.

I guess the main point of all of this is that it’s stupid to allow others to tear you down and cause you to give up on yourself. Be happy being you, because there’s no one else in the world quite like you. And there’s something so truly special about that.

Two Years and Counting

Time is such a funny thing. I thought I was just about to reach the two year anniversary of my blog, so I looked up my first post to see about the date. As it turns out, the anniversary is today. So, I happily announce that my blog is officially a two year old (Watch out! They can be wild at that age. :) )

As I reread that first post I couldn’t help but feel as though it had been such a long time ago that I wrote it. So much has happened in that time. But regardless of all that’s taken place, and all the changes and new insights I’ve developed, I still feel that the message of that first post is as relevant as ever. If you’ve never read it, I’ll encourage you to do so. The remainder of this post will relate to it.

As a future teacher, it bothers me to see how many backward approaches people take to education. It bothers me to see how much corrupted, bureaucratic politics have infiltrated our schools. But I’ll reserve the urge to go into a rant about those things and focus solely on school violence.

In my first post, I commented on the shooting that took place at Virginia Tech. In the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded of that incidence by the news of a young man who shot himself, and another who hung himself, both because of bullying that took place at their schools. Yet again, more school violence has occurred. I warned in my first post that things of this nature will continue happening so long as we continue to push God further and further out of our society. Without God comes a great deal of immorality. History is full of examples of this.

But about school violence, I take seriously the fact that our politicians and school administrators at large have done nothing to honestly help curb it from happening. There are so many easy steps that could be taken to help prevent problems like this (that would actually work), but nobody seems to want to implement any of them. And I can’t help but wonder why?

I offer three solutions that I guarantee would cause a dramatic decline in school violence.

Solution number one: implement a Golden Rule policy throughout the entire school. This should be the rule that teachers enforce and focus on the most. They should look out for bullying. When they see it, they should stop it. They should teach constantly that students treat each other as they would want to be treated themselves. And there should be consequences for the one who does the bullying. This would not only help stop school violence, but it would show the students that their teachers care, and would help the students learn how to better care for each other as well. It would cause the students to put themselves in another person’s shoes and realize that it’s never okay to treat someone poorly.

Solution number two: perform confidential written student interviews at least once every two weeks. The teacher should write on the board these four questions for the students to answer on their own paper: What things do you like about school? What things do you not like about school? Is there anyone causing you any problems, or hurting you in some way? How do you feel today? Just to ask these four simple questions a teacher can find out what’s on the students minds. They can find out which students are at risk, who the bullies are, what problems are happening at school and at home, and practically any other problem the student is having, including academically. The teacher can then get help for the student before it’s all too late.

Solution number three: create a metal detector foyer at the entrances of every school. What this would mean is students would have to walk through two sets of doors in order to get into the building. At the first entrance, they would have to walk through metal detectors. If the detectors go off, the second set of doors would automatically lock and prevent the student from entering the school. The student carrying a firearm would be locked inside the foyer, preventing them from causing harm to any of the other students and giving time for police to apprehend them. Talk about prevention!

So, there are three solutions (and by no means the only ones out there) that would dramatically make a difference in our schools. I guess my question is, why haven’t these things been implemented? The first two solutions wouldn’t cost anybody anything. The third would cost some, but is that cost really too high? I certainly don’t think so—not if it prevents students from getting killed. And all of these are solutions that would actually work. They go directly to the root of the problem. The issue at hand seems to me to be everyone’s desire to complicate everything, and beat around the bush due to laziness, greed, and/or a thirst for power. And as long as that’s the case, I doubt we’ll ever see anything positive come about in this regard.

The warning still stands…

The Teased and the Teaser

At the church I attend, we receive each week a little handout booklet called “Seek”. A couple of weeks ago, there was an article in that handout titled, “When Teasing Goes Too Far”. It was perhaps the saddest thing I'd read in a long, long time. The article was about a young man named Charles Andrew Williams, who in March of 2001 took his father's gun to school with him and shot two of his fellow classmates. Thirteen others were wounded during his shooting frenzy. According to those who witnessed the event, the young fifteen year old was smiling the whole time.

In trying to figure out young Andy's motives for this brutally violent attack, some very sad details came out about his life. Williams' parents had divorced less than a year before. Until that time, he had lived in Maryland. He had had a girlfriend. He was well liked and got along with his peers. Afterward, however, he went to live with his father in southern California, while his mother resided in South Carolina. He was separated from his mother by a distance of over 2,000 miles. At his new school, he was quickly targeted for bullying. He was the new kid. He was thin and apparently awkward in looks, so he must have made for an easy target. His skateboard, as well as a pair of shoes, were stolen. He was constantly being picked on and teased by other students. In short, his life had been turned upside down. These things is what is believed to have led to the motive. Something, or all of these things combined, must have literally sent him right over the edge. And he decided to get even, and to vent his frustrations and anger out on his fellow classmates. Two of them are dead now, and thirteen were wounded.

I wonder if those he attacked were the ones who were constantly picking on him? Was the smile on his face one of relief in that case? Not to imply that he was right in what he did because of that. Far from it! But I can't help but feel somewhat sad for him. Here's a young kid whose family life was shattered, and he was probably confused and saddened deeply about that. He was uprooted and moved to the other end of the country, far away from his mother, who he could no longer see on a regular basis, and, well, he basically had to give up all that was familiar to him. And then, in his new environment, those around him, rather than to have welcomed him, decided to pick on him and bully him to the point where he was outright miserable. I think it would be hard for any of us to respond well under those circumstances. Not that we'd all make the same decision that Williams did. But doesn't all this set bad with you?

As it turned out, Williams was tried as an adult and was given a 50-year to life sentence in a California state prison. According to the article, he won't be eligible for parole until he's 65 years old. He'll spend the majority of his life behind bars.

Isn't this horrible? I don't mean the punishment, but the fact that all this happened. Andy Williams' life has literally become a tragedy. And it's all laced with sin. His parents divorce, the forced separation from his mother, the thefts, the teasing, the failure of the school administrators and others to prevent that, his dad being careless with an armed weapon, Andy deciding to hurt other people and to kill them... If this story says anything, it's that the consequences of sin are great. I feel sorry for all the families and friends of those involved. I wonder how saddened the parents of those murdered feel. I wonder how his parents feel. Does anyone regret having bullied him? Does he regret what he did? I wonder how much harm was done by all those involved. I feel sorry for Andy. I wish that all those terrible things hadn't happened to him. I also wish that he hadn't responded to all those things in the manner he did.

It isn't right for any of us to make somebody else miserable. Making fun of others and putting them down, what's right about that? And of course, it's always just “in good fun”. It's never meant to mean anything. No one ever intended to hurt the other person's feelings.

I felt awful after I read this article. I was reminded of all those times I've been made fun of or was mistreated or picked on. I was reminded of how horrible that's made me feel each time it's happened to me. I also was introduced to the idea that maybe I'd done that to others though. Maybe not intentionally... well, yes, sadly that's true too—intentionally. But I thought of one person in particular. A guy I've worked with for some time now has often been made the butt of many jokes. He's not the brightest of people, and so he is an easy target. It's easy to get him riled up over something. I've teased him before, and picked on him, never meaning to hurt his feelings, but just to have a bit of fun with him. But now, I realize I probably have hurt his feelings a few times. And that's made me feel terrible. I don't want to be the cause of making someone else's life more difficult. I don't want to hurt anyone like that. I know how it can feel.

So, I decided to do something nice for this coworker. Since I'm technically head of my department now, I took it upon myself to make him an honorary employee of the week. I gave him a certificate with his name on it, with a dollar bill attached, and got all the other workers to applaud whenever I gave him the award. When I gave it to him, his face lit up for the first time in a long time. He smiled and looked beat. He thanked me and the others and seemed to be floating on cloud nine the rest of the day. I'd become use to seeing him angry and frustrated, but I didn't see that afterwards, and it was wonderful not to see that. It made me feel good just because he felt good.

Isn't that what we as Christians are supposed to be in the business of doing? Aren't we supposed to be helping each other, and building each other up? Aren't we supposed to be setting a good example? How are we doing that when we tear others down?

Yes, teasing can honestly be “all in good fun”, but sometimes it can literally be taken too far. As in the case of Andy Williams. But just when do we cross the line? When does playful banter become abuse? Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” A good saying to include here might be, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you”. Nobody, I'm sure, would enjoy being teased day in and day out. So, why do we do that? “All in good fun” can't be an excuse. As the article stated near the end, “The teasers and others who made Andy's life miserable were not charged with any crime—at least not in the courts. But if any of them are Christians, God will hold them accountable for their actions. Count on it!” If we contribute to sending somebody over the edge, you better believe that God is going to hold us just as much accountable for their actions. In the case of my coworker, I didn't want to see anything similar happen with him. I didn't want to see him come in to work one day with a gun ready to wipe out all of us. I want to see him lifted up, made to feel good, and hopefully brought to Christ. I hope that's the future in store for him, and not the other way around.

As I brought up earlier, I've been both the teased and the teaser. As a Christian, I know not to allow rejection or abuse or any other sin to drag me down to the point of killing those who treat me like that. But I'd neglected to think about how others may feel when I'm the one teasing them. I've never purposefully meant to hurt anyone like that. I hope that I haven't. But, it's always good to keep in mind that one could in that manner. It's always good to keep in mind the feelings of others.

How many people have you sent over the edge?